Please help me check my IETLS essay and give your opinion about my current writing band level (If you can)

Parents with undisciplined children should be made to follow compulsory parenting skills’ classes where they can learn from professional teachers how to be good parents.

Do the advantages of this approach outweigh the disadvantages?

There is a statement that parents whose children are naughty must study parenting skills classes from experts to become great parents. In this essay, both the advantages and disadvantages of this method will be discussed to conclude whether the plus points outweigh the minus ones.

There are many undeniable benefits of attending compulsory classes for both parents and children. Firstly, parents could broaden their knowledge about children. They would be able to understand children’ thoughts and behaviors and know what exactly they should do in particular circumstances. For instance, busy parents could save a lot of time if they are able to make their children stop crying in only 10 seconds. Secondly, children who were nurtured and educated by the same educating methods might behave the same ways as they get older. Most of the Japanese people have learned about patience, sympathy, and solidarity since they were kids. Therefore, they find it normal to stay in lines and wait for receiving food from the government after losing all of their properties due to environmental disasters.

Despites a lot of benefits, there are also some drawbacks of this solution of parenting. Different children with a wide range of characteristics might need different ways of approaching and educating. Therefore, the same methods might not be suitable for all children. Moreover, the classes might be time-wasting if some parents have to go there because of being forced. They might not follow the instructions and only educate their children by their own ways.

In conclusion, I do believe that the benefits from parents attending parenting skills classes for both parents and children outweigh the disadvantages. However, parents have the rights to nurture their children by the ways they want so they should not be obliged to join in these classes.

(60’)

Thank you!