Please help me check my IELTS Writing task 2 essay

Topic: It is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people than that of young people in many countries in the future. Do you think it is positive or negative development?

Due to the improved living standard and decreased birth rate in some parts of the world, the aging population has been growing gradually. While some people think this trend can be positive to some extent, I would argue that is posing considerable challenges to the country’s development process.

Increasing aging population could significantly undermine the high living standard as well as the development in many advanced economies. On the one hand, the upsurge of aged population leads to a declined in working-age population, resulting in a shortage of qualified workers and create more difficulties for businesses to fill in-demand roles. An economy can confront with adverse consequences namely a deline of productivity or higher labor cost and be lagged behind toward neighboring countries’ ecnomy.

On the other hand, because of the growing of old people, the demand for health care services will put pressure on the government’s policies. The country must allocate more money and resources to meed the needs of senior citizens. According to experts, the current situation in many countries proves that technology plays an indispensable role in finding and effectively usuing resources for healthcare in the context of aging population. Therefore, that will need to be invested more money and the investment cost for national projects in such areas like commerce and tourism will be stagnated.

To conclude, the rising life expectancy brings its own issues to the development of a country. However, effective measures can be taken to mitigate these issues and in the long run, the senior citizens should be treasured and encouraged to create more values for the community.