Please help me check my IELTS essay

Topic : In order to be successful in sports, some people think you have to be physically strong. Others say that mental strength is more important. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

My essay:

The success in sports is determined by a multitude of factors. Some people believe that physical health is the main key to sports achievements. However, others contend that the decisive factor to win a game is mental prowess. From my point of view, both of these above mentioned are of equal importance.

To commence with, physical stamina makes athletes tenacious and flexible. That enables them to triumph over rivals in challenging contests. For instance, in football, players are required to run 90 minutes relentlessly. Unless they are tough and agile, they may lose the match. In addition to that, physical durability helps sportsman less prone to injuries during training and competitions. Injuries are unwanted on the grounds that it brings their carrer to a halt. Having a solid base of physical well-being will guarantee athletes' safety.

On the other hand, we can't deny the necessity of great mental condition. As a matter of course, the players are put under constant pressure in competitions, even the sports stars. The strong-minded ones, therefore, hold the trumph cards since they can control their tension and gain a sense of calm. As a result, they can consistently optimize their abilities. Additionally, mental toughness helps athletes stand up against critical remarks from the public. A notable example of this is the case of world-renowned footballer, Cristiano Ronaldo. No matter how much he is criticised for buzz in his private life, he still remains calm and concentrates on professional competing.

In conclusion, people have different views in reference to the main determinant to the success of a sport game. It seems to me that a perfect sportsman should be both physically fit and mentally tough.