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Llkngocc Posted 3 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please help me check my essay. Thanks a lot!

Topic: Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made m?e expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?


Nowadays, more and more people tend to consume high-level sugary products daily, which leads them to a higher risk of getting health-related issues. While some believe that the more exorbitant the price of sugar is, the fewer people consume it; I totally disagree with this point of view.


First of all, it can be seen that food and drink containing much sugar are one of the most necessary products for all households. The increase in the cost of sugary products may have an adverse bearing on not only the daily life but the health of the nationals as well. If there is any rise in sugar prices, people may be prone to trawl for other sources providing sugar that are cheaper but also less quality. This may obviously cause them to influence their health states more than in the previous case when there has not been any higher-cost change yet.


Moreover, making sugar price higher is absolutely not the only way to stop residents from consuming much sugar. There is a more positive and effective way to empower individuals to consume more healthy products instead of sugar ones and not affect their financial situations. That is to launch a campaign which consists of three steps: collating information and statistics about sugar and which health problems it brings about, then disseminating them and directly making a speech in order to raise the public's awareness about the threat coming from food and drink containing high levels of sugar.


To conclude, the idea of increasing the cost of sugar to discourage people from eating sugar-contained products is not efficient, and there is another positive way to tackle this problem instead.

  

Top answer

Nowadays, more and more people tend to consume sweets high-level (wrong usage) sugary drinks products daily, which leads them to a higher risk of getting health-related issues. While some believe that the more exorbitant the price of sugar is, the fewer people consume it; I totally disagree with them. this point of view .

  • Nowadays, more and more people tend to consume sweets high-level (wrong usage) sugary drinks products daily, which leads them to a higher risk of getting health-related issues.
  • While some believe that the more exorbitant the price of sugar is, the fewer people consume it; I totally disagree with them.
  • this point of view .
  • First of all, it can be seen that (Avoid these "dummy-it" clauses.
  • They add no content and they are distracting.
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Nowadays, more and more people tend to consume sweets high-level (wrong usage) sugary drinks products daily, which leads them to a higher risk of getting health-related issues. While some believe that the more exorbitant the price of sugar is, the fewer people consume it; I totall

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