Please help me check my essay in IELTS Writing Task 2

Question: Some people think that in order to deal with the problem of congestion in cities, privately owned vehicles should be barred in city centers while others consider this to be an unrealistic solution. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

My answer:

In this day and age, people have differing views regarding how to cope with traffic jams in big cities. While some are of the opinion that keeping private vehicles out of city centers is essential, others argue that doing so is impractical. I wholeheartedly agree with the two standpoints.

On the one hand, banning secret transport should be taken into account due to these reasons. First, because there are a lot of individuals who commute to work by their own type of transportation are much greater than those traveling by other forms. Hence, the number of privately owned traffic will decrease if the law which does not allow this mode of conveyance to appear on the road applies in reality. Thus, buses, trams, and underground systems as public transfers will be facilitated. As a result, toxic emissions that are released into the atmosphere decline significantly, which is environmentally friendly.

On the other hand, private transportation cannot be kept away from the downtown in urban areas owing to several disadvantages. Specifically, commuting to work by the vehicle that they have bought becomes obvious for the most part, so it is a fiction provided that everyone longs to make it disappear as it is. Moreover, in case of the lack of individual ones, the loss of motorbikes, personal cars, and equivalents creates a huge demand that is difficult to meet with other types of transportation. Consequently, this affects negatively the state of employment for that spot's citizens.

In conclusion, while it is ideal to ban privately owned vehicles due to their benefits concerning environmental protection, that is supposed to be unreal in terms of solving the increasing requirement of going to work because of independent channels' disappearance.