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Question

Many animal species are becoming extinct due to human activities on land and in the sea. What are the reasons and solutions?

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Nowadays, it is true that a vast number of animal species are being pushed to the verge of extinction because of human activities both on land and in sea. This essay will discuss about some main reasons of this issue and propose several solutions that individuals and governments should take.

The major reason for the disappearance of some wild species on land due to the rapid industrialization by releasing massive quantities of pollutants such as mining and steel. These are factors causing tremendous damage on animals's natural habitats. Furthermore, forests which are the home to millions of wild animals are being cut down to make way for factories. Another reason is that, the rampant illegal hunting animals for food and their body parts like elephant's ivories pose a serious threat to them.

In terms of the number of aquatic creatures are dying out for some causes. First, the overfishing to meet demand for food consumption is one of the significant reasons why many schools of fish decrease dramatically every year. Second, oil exploitation as well as sea transportation contributing the pollution of water. As a result, it contaminates the aquatic system so that sea creatures do not have place to look for food and shelter. This is also considered a major factor that results in the decreased livelihood, and consequently, extinction of many species.

There are, in fact, a number of feasible solutions to tackle this problem. To begin with, government need to pass stricter regulations to dter poaching of animals and contruct more wildlife sanctuaries for endangered species to reproduce. Addition to this, citizens should be well-informed about the crucial of the protection of threatened species and encouraged to boycott the products made from their body parts,for instance animal's leathers or rhinos' horns.

In conclusion, I believe humans are threatening the survival of many species due to the expansion of factories and pollution to their natural habitats. Therefore, it is imperative to have appropriate protective measures to deal with.

Emi2222 · Accepted Answer

Many animal species are becoming extinct due to human activities on land and in the sea. What are the reasons and solutions?

------------------------------------------------------------------

Nowadays, it is true that a vast number of animal species are being pushed to the verge of extinction because of human activities both on land and in sea. This essay will discuss about some main reasons of this issue and propose several solutions that individuals and governments should take.

The major reason for the disappearance of some wild species on land due to the rapid industrialization by releasing massive quantities of pollutants such as mining and steel. These are factors causing tremendous damage on animals's natural habitats. Furthermore, forests which are the home to millions of wild animals are being cut down to make way for factories. Another reason is that, the rampant illegal hunting animals for food and their body parts like elephant's ivories pose a serious threat to them.

In terms of the number of aquatic creatures are dying out for some causes. First, the overfishing to meet demand for food consumption is one of the significant reasons why many schools of fish decrease dramatically every year. Second, oil exploitation as well as sea transportation contributing the pollution of water. As a result, it contaminates the aquatic system so that sea creatures do not have place to look for food and shelter. This is also considered a major factor that results in the decreased livelihood, and consequently, extinction of many species.

There are, in fact, a number of feasible solutions to tackle this problem. To begin with, government need to pass stricter regulations to dter poaching of animals and contruct more wildlife sanctuaries for endangered species to reproduce. Addition to this, citizens should be well-informed about the crucial of the protection of threatened species and encouraged to boycott the products made from their body parts,for instance animal's leathers or rhinos' horns.

In conclusion, I believe humans are threatening the survival of many species due to the expansion of factories and pollution to their natural habitats. Therefore, it is imperative to have appropriate protective measures to deal with.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

You wrote 330 words. The minimum is 250. You will not lose points for writing more; however, longer essays generally do not get high band scores. And there are many reasons for this.

First, the longer the essay, the more chances you have to make errors, and you will lose points for each of those errors.

Second, your writing may be repetitious and wordy. This will cost you points in task response or coherence and cohesion.

Third, you will likely stray off-topic, and examiners will deduct points if you are not focused on the topic. Do not write about things that are not specifically given in the task. You will also be tempted to use weak or unsound arguments or even lose your direction and contradict yourself. Develop just two or three argument points with examples and personal experiences. It is much better to have two well-developed and fleshed-out argument points than to have four which are just individual separate statements.

Fourth, you will spend a lot of time writing, and not have sufficient time left over to proofread your essay. You will miss the silly mistakes, which everyone makes, and that lowers your score.

Fifth, you will not have enough time for Task 1, and get a lower score there. You should allow 40 minutes for task and 20 minutes for Task 1. The word counts are designed so that you have ample time for brainstorming and then writing the two parts.

Aim to write around 270 words for Task 2. Practice writing a lot of essays so you get a feeling for the length.

Nowadays, ~~it is true that~~ (Would you write something that is false?) a vast number of animal species are being pushed to the verge of extinction because of human activities both on land and in sea. ~~This essay will discuss about some main reasons of this issue and propose several solutions that individuals and governments should take.~~

The examiner knows you are writing an essay. They know the topic. They know the prompt. Do not tell them what they know! Do not just parrot the instructions. It does not impress anyone. Never mention your essay or your writing. It will not get you the best score.

Instead, write a thesis statement. That is the main point of your essay and your main ideas. Develop these ideas in the body paragraph.

The major reason for the disappearance of some wild species on land due to the rapid industrialization by releasing massive quantities of pollutants such as mining and steel. (Those are not pollutants.) These are factors causing tremendous damage on animals's natural habitats. Furthermore, forests which are the home to millions of wild animals are being cut down to make way for factories. Another reason is that, the rampant illegal hunting animals for food and their body parts like elephant's ivories pose a serious threat to them. (You do not develop your ideas very well. There are three sentences with three different points. There is little coherence and cohesion.) .

In terms of the number of aquatic creatures are dying out ~~for some causes.~~ (That is not a sentence. It is a prepositional phrase) First, the overfishing to meet demand for food ~~consumption~~ is one of the significant reasons why many schools of fish decrease dramatically every year. Second, oil exploitation as well as sea transportation contributing the pollution of water. (That is not a sentence. It is a noun phrase) As a result, it contaminates the aquatic system so that sea creatures do not have place (wrong form) to look for food and shelter. This is also considered a major factor that results in the decreased livelihood, (wrong phrase ) and consequently, extinction of many species.

There are, in fact, a number of feasible solutions to tackle this problem. To begin with, government need to pass stricter regulations to dter poaching of animals and contruct more wildlife sanctuaries for endangered species to reproduce. Addition to this, (ungrammatical) citizens should be well-informed about the crucial (Crucial is an adjective, not a noun) of the protection of threatened species and encouraged to boycott the products made from their body parts,for instance animal's leathers or rhinos' horns.

In conclusion~~, I believe~~ (The task did not ask for your opinion. Do not give one.) humans are threatening the survival of many species due to the expansion of factories and pollution to their natural habitats. T~~herefore, it is imperative to have appropriate protective measures to deal with.~~ You need to summarize the solutions you wrote about. )

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