Please help me check my essay.

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More and more people want to buy clothes, cars and other products from well-known brands. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?There has been an increase in the number of people purchasing products from luxurious and popular brands. Such a trend has reasons behind, and I believe it will bring both positive and negative consequences.To begin with, there are two main causes of such a trend. The primary reason for the increase in people using large brands’ items is due to the perceived status which those products confer. People would be treated differently by others when owning luxurious goods. For example, in restaurants, waiters or waitresses usually have a more respectful attitude towards VIP customers who wear high-end clothes and possess expensive cars. Compared to when a middle-class family comes to eat, there would be enormous differences in the staffs’ attitude. Another important reason is that large brands usually launch a variety of effective marketing campaigns which can be big sales off or celebrity endorsements to draw tremendous attention of the public.On the other hand, more people purchasing high-end products can be both beneficial and harmful to the business world. People buying more exorbitant items would be a contributor to the national budget since companies have to pay taxes based on the profits earned. This would boost the countries’ economy, improving citizens’ quality of life. Take Samsung for instance, this corporate is the major contributor to Korea’s economic growth, with 15% of the country’s GDP. However, the rise of dominant brand names can create monopolistic competitions among large famous brands, preventing the development of smaller enterprises.In conclusion, more and more people consuming high-end products an account of social status and brands’ effective marketing strategy. I believe this trend has both benefits and downsides.

Sherlock Nguyen · Accepted Answer

Lom Nguyen luxurious and popular brands

too wordy, should be " luxury brands"

Lom NguyenSuch a trend has reasons behind, and I believe it will bring both positive and negative consequences.

In my opinion, It has both negative and positive effects.

Lom Nguyenthere are two main causes of such a trend

there are two reasons of the trend

Lom NguyenThe primary reason for the increase in people using large brands’ items is due to the perceived status which those products confer

too wordy, "The first one is ..."

*Your second paragraph does not support the thesis clearly and there aren't enough reasons. You should have said that young people are usually influenced by peer pressure, they don't want to be considered old-fashioned compared to there peers., etc.

As for thesis 2, you should write more about the negative sides together with positive ones.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

There has been an increase in the number of people purchasing products from ~~luxurious~~ ~~and~~ popular brand name companies. ~~Such a trend has reasons behind, and I believe it will bring both positive and negative consequences.~~

You really need a better thesis statement. Everything has reasons; that is a truism

You really need a better thesis statement. Everything has reasons; that is a truism with no information. You should take a stance instead of being ambivalent.

e.g.

The trend is attributed to pervasive advertising, perceived status and product quality. Although there are some negative consequences, I think it is overall a positive development.

Next, you did not answer the topic well. It is not about luxury goods. Read the essay prompt again: "products from well-known brands." There is nothing here about expensive, high-end or luxury items.

For example, in cars, Mercedes Benz, BMW and Rolls Royce are a luxury brands, whereas Honda and Toyota are popular brands. In smartphones, Apple is the luxury brand, while Samsung is popular. In watches, Rolex is luxury and Seiko is popular. The topic is not about expensive luxury items; it is about brand name rather than unbranded, generic or less well-known brands.
So a lot of your writing is off-topic, and you will lose points for that. Many students get poor marks because they did not read the topic carefully.

To begin with, there are two main causes of such a trend. The primary reason for the increase in people using large (wrong word) brands’ items is due to the perceived status which those products confer. People would be treated differently by others when owning luxurious goods. (Off topic) For example, in restaurants, waiters or waitresses usually have a more respectful attitude towards VIP customers who wear high-end clothes and possess expensive cars. (Off topic) Compared to when a middle-class family comes to eat, there would be enormous differences in the staffs’ (wrong form) attitude. Another important reason is that large brands usually launch a variety of effective marketing campaigns which can be big sales off or celebrity endorsements to draw tremendous attention of the public.

On the other hand, more people purchasing high-end products can be both beneficial and harmful to the business world. People buying more exorbitant (Off topic) items would be a contributor to the national budget (wrong word) since companies have to pay taxes based on the profits earned. This would boost the countries’ economy, improving citizens’ quality of life. Take Samsung for instance, this corporate is the major contributor to Korea’s economic growth, with 15% of the country’s GDP. However, the rise of dominant brand names can create monopolistic competitions (wrong phrase) among large famous brands, preventing the development of smaller enterprises.

In conclusion, more and more people consuming high-end products an (wrong word) account of social status and brands’ effective marketing strategy. (That is not a sentence. It is a noun phrase. There is no verb.) ~~I believe this trend has both benefits and downsides.~~

(That says nothing about your position. )

Please help me check my essay.

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