Please help me check my eassy for Ielts writting

Topic: Nowadays, young people admire sports stars though they often do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

It is true that the younger generation is usually inspired by successful athletes, despite bad reputation some may have. In my opinion, this trend has numerous fully positive effects on their fans.

In fact, every sport star was once a trainee. In order to become successful, athletes were required to overcome such obstacles throughout the training process, under a high level of pressure. Also, there are certains traits that a sport star has to posess, for example patience, determination and passion. This has a positive impact on those who admire these athletes, since they will these characteristics as something indispensable to be as accomplished as their idols. Moreover, youngsters will also be encouraged to do exercise or go to the gym to enhance their physical conditions.

On the other hand, it has been reported that sport stars usually do not have a positive lifestyle. Some athletes had to take stimulus, such as coffein or drug to be physically supported. Moreover, because of the competitive feature of their professionals, some sport stars do not remain a good image to the spectator, as they sometime misbehave and show rudeness poor sportmanship to their opponents. All of these scandals are often due to the ardous and stressful training schedule of each athlete. When these scandals are exposed to the public, sport stars are always critically comdemned by the spectators. Thus, youngsters are be able to learn a very lesson for themselves, so as not to make similar mistakes in life.

In conclusion, I believe that an accomplished athlete has a positive influence on his fans, since they can learn comprehensive lessons from his beviours, whether it is positive or not.

Thank you so much!