Please help me check my cover letter. Thanks!

Question

I am applying for Investment banking risk graduate programme and would appreciate if someone could look over my covering letter. Thank you for helping!

Dear Mr. / Ms. [Recruiter’s Name],

My name is [] and I am currently a Financial Mathematic Postgraduate at []BusinessSchool. I recently met [] from the Risk Analysis group at [] during a presentation at our school last week, and was impressed with your over [] earning and [] long-term credit rating. I am interested in joining the Risk Graduate Programme at your firm, and have enclosed my resume and background information below.

I have previously worked as client manager at [] Security Brokerage Ltd. and research assistant at [] Ventures Group. Through these experiences on working directly with clients, performing quantitative analysis and creating investment model, I have honed my knowledge of portfolio and risk management, and developed negotiating, analytical and problem-solving skills. At [], I also had the opportunity to work on the establishment of the first National Fund of Funds, the total size of which will amount to [] billion.

Given my background in security brokerage and investment management and my negotiating, analytical and problem-solving skills, I am a particularly good fit for the IB risk graduate position at your firm. I am impressed by your track record of transactions at [] and the significant responsibilities given to graduate, and I look forward to joining and contributing to your firm.

A copy of my resume is enclosed for your reference. I would welcome an opportunity to discuss my qualifications with you and learn more about [] at your earliest convenience. I can be reached at [] or via email at []. Thank you very much for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

[]

[Signature]

Enclosure: Resume

JohnParis · Accepted Answer

Good letter.

Resumé or CV ? (depends on whether it US or Rest of World)

Line 1: remove "My name is". Your name should appear on your letterhead. If this is an email, create a letterhead (with date) at the beginning. Also, use the word attached if your resumé is attached to an email and enclosed if this is a paper letter with a paper resumé enclosed in the envelope.

"By working directly with clients, performing quantitative analysis and creating investment models, I have honed my knowledge of portfolio and risk management, and developed negotiating, analytical and problem-solving skills.

"...and the significant responsibilities given to graduates

Last paragraph: remove the 1st sentence. You've already stated that you have enclosed a copy of your resumé in line 3.

Hope this helps and good luck.

John

Mengyuan · Answer

Hi John, Thanks for your great help, especially the tip regarding CV.

I'm writing another post to have my motivation questionary checked. Would you have a look at it if possible?

Thanks again!

Mengyuan

Motivation & Sustainability

This section provides you with the opportunity to further demonstrate your skills and your motivation for applying to [ ].

Describe your motivation for applying to [ ] (200 words) *

[] enjoys a high reputation in investment banking with []credit rating and over [] billion in balance sheet. During 2007, it has been able to steer through the biggest collapse since the 1930s and has emerged as a stronger business. To sustain growth in the increasingly volatile market, one competitive advantage of [] is the culture that expects its people to be leaders of the business ten years down the line. Therefore, [] is willing to invest in its people with all the tools and opportunities to succeed, which few banks can do. Attracted by the powerful delivery from [], I am highly motivated to take the opportunities and do my best to invest my time in the firm in return. Hopefully, by launching my career in [], I can look back ten years from now and find myself having an incredibly successful career.

Please describe your motivation for applying to the IB Risk business area. Please give details of any skills you have that would be relevant to this area (200 words) *

I have been particularly attracted by IB Risk business since I worked in [] Ventures Capital. The major project I’ve completed there is to assess the feasibility of ‘insurance companies investing PE’. Although the hot investment is waiting to burst in [], I found that it is constrained by the lack of risk management techniques and human resources, which motivated me to specialise in the growing business area. At the same time, my professor and employer were impressed by my numerate and analytical skills since I always ranked first in the quantitative courses and showed an excellent research ability and good attention to details at work place. They both strongly recommended a master course related to risk management and quantitative jobs to me. Therefore, I continue to study financial mathematics in Warwick Business School and start to implement the initial plan to launch my career in the Risk business area.

Explain the key skills you have developed that make you suited to a career with J.P. Morgan and the area to which you have applied. Please be specific and provide concrete examples from a broad range of experiences to demonstrate each skill (200 words) *

My prime skill relevant to the job is that I am good with numbers. The ability has been gained from four statistic courses lasted for three years in [] University. Working with numerical data and materials everyday, I have been trained to solve quantitative problems meticulously and generated excellent academic performance.

Also, I have good commercial and economic awareness with strong reasoning ability. When working as a research assistant in [] Ventures Capital, I was in the lead to assess the feasibility for ‘insurance companies investing PE’ and forecasted the coming emergence of the investment as well as liquidity and regulatory constraints inside. With my research results, [] VC decided to include [] insurance funds in the first National FOFs but prepare back-up fund sources as well.

I am also influential in work place with strong interpersonal and negotiation skills which have been developed from my client-facing and sales experiences in brokerage and FMCG industries.

These skills and experiences make me suited to a career with the leading investment bank-[] and Risk business position which requires an outstanding numerate, business intuition and leadership skills.

Please help me check my cover letter. Thanks!

I am applying for Investment banking risk graduate programme and would appreciate if someone could look over my covering letter. Thank you for helping!

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