PLEASE HELP ME BY REVIEWING MY IELTS ESSAY

People should follow the customs and traditions when people start to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, people have different views about integrating into society when they begin their life in a new country. While those who support that they should preserve their cultural when move to another country, I firmly believe that following the foreign cultural is the best thing when we commence to live in a new country.

The first reason in favor of my argument is that if people do not follow local customs, they will have some problems with local people. First, by not following customs and traditions of host country, there will be more difficulties for them to live in a new country. For example, if they start a business, they have to know local business customs in order to be successful. Second, by doing some actions that we do not know the legality of actions, some actions will be illegal in the host country but legal in their country and will make local people angry, too. For example, smoking in the public areas is illegal action in Singapore but in another country it is also legal.

Another reason supporting my view is that people will have the comfortable life when they follow the local customs and traditions. If people can integrate into society, they will be more integration and easier to make friends. Moreover, people also enjoy the traditional and able to take part in community life. For example, Jack, my friend who is studying in Singapore, when he just had arrived in Singapore, he couldn’t make friend because he is an introvert. But when he tried to integrate social though attend festivals, party, … He has a lot of friends and loves the traditions and customs in Singapore.

In conclusion, integrating to society is the best thing you have to do when you move on a new country which will help you to enjoy the cultural in this country.