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Công Thành Phan Posted 7 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please help me by correcting my essay, many thanks!

Many peoplebelieve that social network (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?


The invention of Internet dragged along many important things. One of them is social network. The negative consequences from social network cause many people think negatively about it. However, I think social network has both drawbacks and advantages for each person and community.

On the one hand, social network has many benefits. First, we can contact easily with our parents, friends and other relationships in social network. Many websites are used to get in touch with others, for instance Facebook, Instagram. Thanks for these websites, many people can find their old friend, even relatives. Second, the positive things can be shared to many people. People who have difficulties can be helped. The posts in social network by prestige and affective persons or fanpages are very viral. Therefore, they can call for users helping by their post. I think this is a greatful advantage of social network. Third, users can earn money in social network. Nowadays, online selling is very popular and convenient. Most bands have their fanpage in social network that makes their brand more famous.

On the other hand, many users have troubles because of social network. First, the social network canbe made users additive. Because of the interesting of social network,many people waste much time for them. Gradually, they cannot give up them. Second, it is difficultly control bad information and their speeding of the spread. For example, many users are leaked their private clip in social network and this is become the fun of many users. While this can be killed person who is leaked this clip. Third, users can be stolen their individual information. The security system of many social networks is very weak. Therefore, hackers can be easily stolen personal information of users.

Social network has both drawbacks and benefits. I think good or bad effectives from social network rely on users. In summary, I think social network has more advantages than disadvantages.

  

Top answer

Note: There is only one place where you used the phrase "social network" correctly. "the social network" All other places are incorrect. You need " a social network" when you talk about a website, or "social networking" when you talk about the idea or process of users forming relationships and interacting, or "social network s " when you talk about the collection of all of them.

  • Note: There is only one place where you used the phrase "social network" correctly.
  • "the social network" All other places are incorrect.
  • You need " a social network" when you talk about a website, or "social networking" when you talk about the idea or process of users forming relationships and interacting, or "social network s " when you talk about the collection of all of them.
  • For example, these are good natural English sentences: On the one hand, social networking has many benefits.
  • On the one hand, social networks have many benefits.
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1 Answers
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Note: There is only one place where you used the phrase "social network" correctly.

"the social network"

All other places are incorrect. You need "a social network" when you talk about a website, or "social networking" when you talk about the idea or process of users forming relationships and interacting, or "social network

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