Please help me a task 2 writing ielts essay
Question:
Tradition is being killed by technology today. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Answer:
It is undisputable that the application of technology has been creeping ubiquitously into our world in most fields of life, and it also has been replacing most traditional aspects. Therefore, I personally believe that there will be no room for old-fashioned traditional values in the technology-dominated world today.
To begin with, the facilities of technology have brought a comprehensive change in human life from production methods to travelling. Traditional manners to produce had to give way for modern manners from agricultural fields to factories. People, nowadays, often accompany with machines in their work while previous generations always deal with manual work. As a result, numerous handmade products and traditional villages disappeared in society today. Besides, the bonding community becomes looser because with the modernization of the transport means, people travel more easily and further, thus, they live far away from their homeland and in big cities. In the past, people walk to work so that they live in small communities near workplaces. Hence, they know each other and the relationship between them are very close.
The prevalence of technology also invades the traditional cultural values. It is obvious that people in the non-Westernized regions of the world are being imbibed by materialistic and individualistic values associating with Western culture. Especially young people, they find new things of Western culture through the support of technological devices to exhilarate their life. This change may help them escape from oppressive traditions. Consequently, traditional values of their own country are increasingly blurred. An apparent aspect is fashion, today, it is difficult to see a person in almost all of countries wearing traditional costume in a working day instead of the domination of Western fashion.
In conclusion, admittedly, there are still the existence and development of some traditional aspects. However, from my perspective, these aspects are playing a fainter role in life, and they will only exist in the memory of people or in the days of celebration.
Top answer
You have some good ideas in that essay, but you need to organize them better than that if you're aiming for a high mark. Think of what you want to include in each paragraph, and write a topic sentence to define the scope (what's in and what's out) of that paragraph. Remember: one paragraph - one idea.
- You have some good ideas in that essay, but you need to organize them better than that if you're aiming for a high mark.
- Think of what you want to include in each paragraph, and write a topic sentence to define the scope (what's in and what's out) of that paragraph.
- Remember: one paragraph - one idea.
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You have some good ideas in that essay, but you need to organize them better than that if you're aiming for a high mark. Think of what you want to include in each paragraph, and write a topic sentence to define the scope (what's in and what's out) of that paragraph. Remember: one paragraph - one idea.
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