Please help me.

Dear members of English forum. This si the second time I am posting this mail due to the fact that I posted it the first time but got no respond.I am posting it the second time because I really need help from this forum. THIS IS MY FINAL COPY FOR THE SCHOLARSHIP application I have to submit on wednesday together with my motivation letter. I WISH SOMEONE CAN CORRECT IT FOR ME. Thanks in advance

Dear Scholarship Committee:

Please consider me Yale Scholarship. I have completed and enclosed the scholarship application form with the required annexes.

I am applying to pursue a master’s degree in diplmacy at Yale. The program offered at the University gives me the opportunity to put my knowledge into a higher standard and to enhance my skills in diplomacy.

Because of the poor economic and financial situation in my country, I wish to apply for a scholarship to accomplish my professional goals of becoming a leader. If I successfully graduate from the Institute, I will play an active role in the development of my country and the world.

I am from a family of nine. Being the first child, I have to take care of my younger brothers and sisters financial needs because my father is on retirement and my mother is a teacher. Though with the financial burden I am really bent on pursuing my goals of becoming a leader and contribute to the developement of my country and the world. I want to take this opportunity to apply for the institute scholarship.

I am currently working in England specialize in labor import, exportation and developmental project analysis. I work on competitive development programs for foreign companies. I also write reports about their strategy and implementation

My university and work activities provide me with numerous leadership opportunities and a chance to practice important skills vital for my career goal to become a leader.

Receiving this scholarship will reduce the financial burden on my family and me. It will also allow me to continue taking care of my younger brother’s financial needs in the university. Trying to take care of my younger brother’s financial needs while going to school full-time in a foreign country is expensive, but I am confident that my education will pay off in the long run. Until then, the institute Scholarship would greatly assist my financial and academic needs.

Thank you for considering my application.

Sincerely,