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Darkmaster Posted 21 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please help improve my paragraph

I am preparing for a university extrance test, so I must improve my writing skills. But for now I still feel unsure in writing a sentence. Would you mind correcting my paragraph and showing me some skills of writing?
Learning biology
Biology is considered one of the hardest subjects that students have to learn. It is because biology exercises are impossible to solve if we don't have a strong basic knowledge. Even if we have, there are a lot of difficulties in solving them without mastering exercise skills. For instance, a student who knows a lot about biology theory still can't reach 5/10 marks in his contest just because he hasn't ever solved the kind of exercises given in the test before. Another reason explains why students feel sick of biology is lack of learning equipment. This factor makes the students confused in what they've already learned. For example, we must learn about " DNA definition" but we still don't have an imagination on its sharp, its color, its structure... In conclusion, studying biology is not an easy work for most students all over the world
  

Top answer

Learning B iology -- capitalize all the main words of a title. -- Try to use more formal vocabulary for essays; here, hardest should be replaced with most difficult . -- It does not refer clearly to anything here; when referring back to a complex statement, use this .

  • Learning B iology -- capitalize all the main words of a title.
  • -- Try to use more formal vocabulary for essays; here, hardest should be replaced with most difficult .
  • -- It does not refer clearly to anything here; when referring back to a complex statement, use this .
  • Do not use contractions in essay-writing; change don't to do not .
  • -- a lot of is too informal; use considerable or another synonym (but not much in affirmative sentences).
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3 Answers
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Learning Biology -- capitalize all the main words of a title.

Biology is considered one of the hardest subjects that students have to learn.-- Try to use more formal vocabulary for essays; here, hardest should be replaced with most difficult.

It is because biology exercises are impossible to solve if we don't have a strong basic knowledge
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Thank you very much, Mister Micawber.
But I still have some questions :
1> How can we know which words are formal, and which words are not?
2> How can I draw conclusion and make it different to the thesis?
Kind regards,
Khai Minh
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Hello Khai Minh,

1-- Getting to know formal from informal vocabulary requires considerable reading experience, but one basic guideline is to avoid slang (of course) and phrasal verbs (pick up, go over, make out) in favour of their formal equivalents (acquire, review, succeed), which are usually of Latin or Greek origin. Many words and phrases from conversational Eng

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