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Jessie kim Posted 14 years ago
Grammar
Please help correct my CV in English? :)
Hello, I was asked to write my CV in English but since my English isn't great, I had some difficulties in finding grammatical errors in the CV. could you please help me correct it? I will be really happy to accept any comment regarding my CV! Thanks! 
Sincerely,
Kim
EDUCATION
*********College, ******** Campus Aug 09- Jun 11
?One of the Leading Business Schools Offering British Affiliated Education
?Completed 2 Year Course in Advanced Diploma in Business Economics Successfully and Will Be Receiving the Diploma in Feb-Mar by *****College UK
?Attained Certificate in Cutting Edge Residential Training on Soft Skills and Attitudinal Transformation
?Attained Certificado de Español Nivel Basico with 88%
********* World School Aug 08- Jun 09
?GCE ‘A’ Level
?Economics and Computing
?Awarded for Academic Excellence in Computing
************ International School Aug 07- Jun08
?IGCSE Cambridge ESL Course
?Studied Accounting, Computing, Economics, Math/Statistics
?Awarded International School Basketball Tournament Winning and 2 Silver Medals on Sports Day
*************** High School Feb 05- Mar07
?Korean High School Curriculum
?Involved in Advanced Class Only Available for the Top 10% Students amongst the Class of 400 Students According to the GPA
?Awarded Top 10% Academic Excellence in Social Studies, Korean Language, English Conversation1, World History1, English Conversation2, World History2, Composition
WORK EXPERIENCE
Sales Manager at *****************(Restaurant& Bar) Jul 11- Sep 11,
Dec 11- Present
?Analyzing and Planning Restaurant’s Sales levels and Profitability
?Creating and Executing Plans for Department Sales, Profit and Staff Development
?Responding to Customer Complaints/ Maintaining Standards of Quality Control, Hygiene and Safety
SKILLS/SPECIAL KNOWLEDGE/LANGUAGES
?MS - Office (Proficient), Adobe Photoshop (Proficient), C++ Programming Language (Basic)
?Korean (Native), English (Fluent), Japanese (Competent), Spanish (Basic)
INTERESTS
?Sports: Swimming, Football, Yoga, Jogging, Basketball
?Travels: Backpacked South Korea and Thailand while Pursuing Social Projects/ Travelled India, Thailand, Laos, Singapore and Many Other Countries in Asia
?Church Volunteer: Flutiest in Orchestra, Teaching English Conversation to Middle School Students, Supervising Students in Summer and Winter Camps at ********* Church
?Member of ****** Club (Expat Social Club), ************ Economic Research Forum
Sincerely,
Kim
EDUCATION
*********College, ******** Campus Aug 09- Jun 11
?One of the Leading Business Schools Offering British Affiliated Education
?Completed 2 Year Course in Advanced Diploma in Business Economics Successfully and Will Be Receiving the Diploma in Feb-Mar by *****College UK
?Attained Certificate in Cutting Edge Residential Training on Soft Skills and Attitudinal Transformation
?Attained Certificado de Español Nivel Basico with 88%
********* World School Aug 08- Jun 09
?GCE ‘A’ Level
?Economics and Computing
?Awarded for Academic Excellence in Computing
************ International School Aug 07- Jun08
?IGCSE Cambridge ESL Course
?Studied Accounting, Computing, Economics, Math/Statistics
?Awarded International School Basketball Tournament Winning and 2 Silver Medals on Sports Day
*************** High School Feb 05- Mar07
?Korean High School Curriculum
?Involved in Advanced Class Only Available for the Top 10% Students amongst the Class of 400 Students According to the GPA
?Awarded Top 10% Academic Excellence in Social Studies, Korean Language, English Conversation1, World History1, English Conversation2, World History2, Composition
WORK EXPERIENCE
Sales Manager at *****************(Restaurant& Bar) Jul 11- Sep 11,
Dec 11- Present
?Analyzing and Planning Restaurant’s Sales levels and Profitability
?Creating and Executing Plans for Department Sales, Profit and Staff Development
?Responding to Customer Complaints/ Maintaining Standards of Quality Control, Hygiene and Safety
SKILLS/SPECIAL KNOWLEDGE/LANGUAGES
?MS - Office (Proficient), Adobe Photoshop (Proficient), C++ Programming Language (Basic)
?Korean (Native), English (Fluent), Japanese (Competent), Spanish (Basic)
INTERESTS
?Sports: Swimming, Football, Yoga, Jogging, Basketball
?Travels: Backpacked South Korea and Thailand while Pursuing Social Projects/ Travelled India, Thailand, Laos, Singapore and Many Other Countries in Asia
?Church Volunteer: Flutiest in Orchestra, Teaching English Conversation to Middle School Students, Supervising Students in Summer and Winter Camps at ********* Church
?Member of ****** Club (Expat Social Club), ************ Economic Research Forum
Top answer
This is how I would rewrite this. Note that I removed most capitals. I would also space between sections to make it more readable.
- This is how I would rewrite this.
- Note that I removed most capitals.
- I would also space between sections to make it more readable.
- Member of ****** Club (expat social club), ************ Economic Research Forum Note: Flutist not flutiest.
- " if in the past.
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4 Answers
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This is how I would rewrite this. Note that I removed most capitals. I would also space between sections to make it more readable.
EDUCATION
*********College, ******** Campus Aug 09- Jun 11
?One of the leading business schools offering British-affiliated education
?Successfully completed two-year, Advanced Diploma course in Busi
EDUCATION
*********College, ******** Campus Aug 09- Jun 11
?One of the leading business schools offering British-affiliated education
?Successfully completed two-year, Advanced Diploma course in Busi
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Hi,
A further small but general comment.
You haven't told us the purpose of this CV. But do you think that the first question in the reader's mind will be 'Hmmm, what kind of education does this person have?'
A further small but general comment.
You haven't told us the purpose of this CV. But do you think that the first question in the reader's mind will be 'Hmmm, what kind of education does this person have?'
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oops I forgot to mention that! It's for university application so I guess thats ok!
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