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Hi guys. Right now I'm applying for a special program that wants me to write an explanation essay. Please help me perfect my grammar and make useful suggestions to it. Thanks.

My Application Essay

Explanation over the reasons why I apply for I.B

According to my outlook on life, countless crossroads are situated on the bumpy path toward the remote success. For a long period of time I’ve been hesitating at a significant one that could potentially influence my future at which I have to make a critical decision over which high school is the most suitable for me. After a long process of deliberation, I firmly came up with a decent choice—Victoria Park C.I., for its magnificent I.B. program as well as my abilities which well satisfy to the requirements.

First of all, multiple strong points of mine will hopefully place myself in the group of priorities. Math has always been one of my favorite courses since Grade 1, and I’ve got a plenty of strong interest in it. As a student from China, my abilities to demonstrate the major concepts thoroughly and effectively communicate information with teachers and classmates are being regarded as ‘Gifted’ in my school. Consequently, as we could see on my report card, my grade is far beyond the course average, which is one of the things that I’m proud of. In addition, my consistent efforts have boosted my mark significantly in Science, compared to mine during Grade 8. Due to my dedication in analyzing the principles of chemistry taught in term 1, 92, in my opinion, may be an appropriate rate that emphasizes the teacher’s appreciation on my positive attitude and tremendous improvement.

Secondly, a variety of hobbies and the initiative toward community services will definitely survive me through the miscellaneous curriculums as well the prolonged community involvement. During my leisure time, I tend to indulge myself completely in several events. For example, just like any other Grade 9 boys, I am a fairly good amateur basketball player. Participating in basketball games with my friends has been fulfilling my 30-minute lunch break as well as my weekends. In addition to this fabulous sport, music has also been an irreplaceable fraction of my personal life. I have been infatuated with clarinets ever since the first class of music. Daily practice and Band on Wednesday have always been reserved on my schedule for almost 2 years.

Nonetheless, even though my manifold hobbies seem to extract a relatively long time from leisure, they don’t generally intercept with my willingness to contribute to my communities. Currently I’ve got 30 hours of pure volunteer time, all of which could be derived from math tutoring, gift wrapping, music tutoring…

Moreover, I am immensely self-disciplined and personally desirous to pursue challenging curriculum. My best friends-persistence, courage, motivation and determination, have been supporting me intrinsically every time I stumble in front of a seemingly huge issue. Through thick and thin, we never desert each other the precious friendship has already rooted deeply in my soul. As a result of owning a highly motivated and warm heart, I believe I’ll be a well-rounded person in the future society.

In conclusion, I’m ready to step up into the difficult curriculum of I.B both physically and mentally. Even if for some specific reasons Victoria Park C.I won’t accept me, my determination toward perfection won’t faint as time elapses. A successful future is waiting for me to be achieved.