Please help

0Hi,02br
02br
00I wrot this E-Mail to my managers, please advise if its look good or should I change something,02br
02br
00Thanks, Alon.02br
02br
00Dear Sir,02br
02br
00After four years of hard work, I finally graduated my BA studies.02br
00I want to thank you for all the support and understanding which helped me02br
00to graduate with very good grades.02br
02br
00Please update HR with the following:02br
001. BA degree in Business Administration with a specialization in02br
00Marketing.02br
002. Microsoft 2003 MCSA (Certified Systems Administrator): Messaging.02br
02br
00 For the last seven years I've been dedicated employee, even before02br
00starting to improve my education I have been looking to advance my career02br
00within the company, unfortunately there wasn't any job opening within our02br
00place. I feel that at the current stage, and even02br
00before, my skills and knowledge are not being used for their full potential02br
00and extend.02br
00I would like you to consider opening another position within our place that02br
00will use these qualities for the company's benefits as well as mine.02br
00I would consider relocating for the right job at one of the company's many02br
00other locations around the world02br
02br
00I look forward to receiving your response02br
02br
00Thanks and best regards02br
00Alon.02br
02br
00P.S02br
00Please check with HR if my new educational level is improving my status02br
00since many companies in Israel are appreciating and rewarding their02br
00employees for such an improvement.0-