please have a look at my letter and give me some advices

Question

i have to send this letter to an important customer. Please have a look at it and tell me if there are errors that i should correct. Thank you

"Dear Mr....

We are sorry for not having sent you the result of survey no 3. We received your samples too late, on 25^th May 2007, while the deadline you recommended that we send the results was 24^th April 2007.

For our convenicence, we hope that you would inform us the time that the samples of the next survey would be sent, sothat we could contact the customs office and the post office to receive these documents early and could send back the result to you as soon as possible.

With best regards"

Freakynick · Accepted Answer

First of all, in your title, "advice" is always singular. We never say "advices."

Asides from that, you have a good letter here. Here are a few errors I found.

Dear Mr....
We are sorry for not having sent you the result of survey no 3. We received your samples too late, on 25^th May 2007, while the deadline you recommended that we send the results was 24^th April 2007.

For our convenicence, we hope that you would inform us the time that the samples of the next survey would be sent, sothat we could contact the customs office and the post office to receive these documents early and could send back the result to you as soon as possible.

1) This is a bit informal for this style. Try 'apologise'

2) Is this the official title? If so, it should be 'Survey No. 3'. If not, 'the third survey' is better.
3) This is good, but is a bit too informal. Try "on the 25th of May, 2007 which was after your deadline of the 24th of April, 2007."
4) You might like to try 'In the future' here because you want the client to do things differently in the future and "For our convenience" doesn't sound very good in English.

5) "would" to 'will'

6) "would be" to 'are'

7) separate these two words

8) "could" to 'can'

9 and 10) These should have capital letter at the beginning as they are official titles.

11) You don't need this "could"

12) "result" should be 'results' because you have said "samples" and "documents"

Freakynick · Answer

One more, don't use "Best regards."  A simple "Regards" is fine.

Feebs11 · Answer

KirakiraI have to send this letter to an important customer. Please have a look at it and tell me if there are errors that I should correct. Thank you

"Dear Mr....

We are sorry for not having sent you the result of survey no 3. We did not receive ~~received~~ your samples ~~too late, on~~ until 25^th May 2007. ~~while the deadline you recommended that we send the results was 24^th April 2007.~~

~~For our convenicence, we hope~~ We had hoped that you would inform us when ~~the time that~~ the samples of the next survey would be sent, so that we could contact the Customs Office and the Post Office ~~to receive~~ in order to request rapid processing of these documents so that we could send back the results to you as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely,

~~With best regards"~~

Kirakira · Answer

Thank you very much, Freaky nick and Feebs 11. I really appreciate that. I made so many mistakes in this letter (both in grammar and vocabulary)

, fortunately I did ask for help before sending it

. I have always confused about the tenses. I wanted my customer to inform us the next time he send the samples, however I used 'would', 'could' because I thought they are politer than 'will' and 'can'. But they don't seem proper here

. I have rewritten my letter as your suggestions. I hope that next time my customer will inform us the time his samples be sent and I won't have to send similar letters

. Thank you for teaching me new things about writing in English.

please have a look at my letter and give me some advices

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