Please give some feedback to my Ielts writing task 2 about Wild animals. Thank you very much!
Topic: Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that only a few wild animals should be protected. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There is an argument about whether we should protect all the fauna or not. Whilst many people believe that every kind of animal should be put under our consideration, I believe that we had better put a priority on some specific kinds.
On the one hand, protecting all wild species tends to be a long-term endeavor. To begin with, as a result of rapid industrialization, the natural environment that provides animals with shelter, habitat, and food has decreased. For example, because a wide range of factories on the river's bank discharge their chemical waste into the water, the aquatic environment is detrimentally affected leading to the decline in the variety of fish. Furthermore, animals play a vital role in biodiversity and the food chain, supplying us with meat and flora with fertilizer from their decomposition. Thanks to early protection such as breeding programmes, we can halt the decline in reproduction caused by overexploitation and uncontrolled poaching, which will eventually lead to extinction.
On the other hand, protecting a certain species is far more feasible and urgent for following reasons. First, protecting wild animals on a large scale is exorbitant for the reason that each conservation campaign and sanctuary requires a significant amount of resources and funding. Instead, we should focus on pressing challenges such as starvation and deadly diseases that many developing countries have struggled with. Second, providing protection to multiple species that are not endangered results in the overpopulation of wild creatures, which could pose a threat to our survival. For example, if the number of rats, mice, and grasshoppers impairing agrarian production increases, farmers may have to shoulder a financial burden to cover the loss and subsistence expenses.
In conclusion, wild animals should be protected owing to their vital roles; however we should prioritize endangered species in order to address other emergency problems.
Thank you very much for your comments.
Top answer
There is an argument about whether we should protect all the fauna (wrong word) or not. Better: - There is no argument. Many species of animals are under the threat of extinction due to human activities such as hunting and deforestation.
- There is an argument about whether we should protect all the fauna (wrong word) or not.
- Better: - There is no argument.
- Many species of animals are under the threat of extinction due to human activities such as hunting and deforestation.
- Whilst many people believe that every kind of animal should be put under our protection consideration , I believe that we had better put a priority on some specific kinds.
- On the one hand, protecting all wild species would tends to be a long-term endeavor.
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There is an argument about whether we should protect all the fauna (wrong word) or not.
Better: - There is no argument.
Many species of animals are under the threat of extinction due to human activities such as hunting and deforestation.
Whilst many people believe that every kind of animal should be put unde
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