Please give some comments on my dissertation acknowledgements

Question

Would you please give some comments on my dissertation acknowledgements from the point of view of a native speaker? Thanks.

This work was carried out at the Department of A and B during the years 20XX-20XX. I hereby wish to thank the both institutes for providing me with excellent research facilities.
I would like to express my deepest gratitude and respect to my principal supervisor, Professor A. I have always benefited from her expertise supervision, brilliant ideas, continuous enthusiasm, rigorous attitude to science, valuable advice and extensive knowledge. I would like also to thank her for providing me with research grants and the great opportunity to have received field research training.
I am also most grateful to another supervisor, Professor B, for his constructive guidance, generous support and inspired suggestions on my work during the years. He has always had shrewd insight and given valuable detailed comments and suggestions which have greatly helped to improve the work and create a better version of the manuscripts. I always feel so lucky to have worked with the two excellent supervisors over these years.
I sincerely thank the official reviewers of the dissertation, Professor C and Professor D, for their time, careful work and valuable comments and suggestions on the work.
I owe my deep gratitude to all the researchers of the XX Studies and all the coauthors of my manuscripts for their genuine interest, rapid response and skillful comments that greatly contributed to my manuscripts. A special thank goes to Dr. E, who has actively participated in this work and kindly provided me with great help.
I wish to express my warmest thanks to my colleagues and friends, Dr. R, Dr. X and Dr. J, who have always given me great help during the years of study. I wish to thank Dr. M for his generous help and supports in my work and life in XXX. Meanwhile, I give my special thank to P for her kind help in practical matters related to the work and to F for his timely help in preparing for the popular abstract of this work.
I devote my deepest gratitude to my parents for their unlimited love and support. They have encouraged me throughout the years of my study. The most special thanks belong to my wife W, for her understanding about my leaving during all these years, selfless love and support all along and encouragement and company during the preparation of this thesis.

Terryxpress · Accepted Answer

This work was carried out at the Department of A and B during the years 20XX-20XX. I hereby(omit) wish to thank the(omit) both institutes for affording me access to their excellent research facilities.
I would like to express my deepest gratitude and respect to my principal supervisor,

It is 'gratitude to' and 'respect for', so at the moment, they are confused. Write:

I would like to express my sincere respect and deepest gratitude to my principal supervisor,

Professor A. I enjoyed the continued benefit of her expertise, guidance, her perspective and brilliant ideas; with her eternal enthusiasm and rigorous approach to science.

Sorry, but it stood, it sounded 'clunky' and not really native speaker. Also, "valuable advice and extensive knowledge" is covered by expertise and guidance.

I would like also to thank her for providing me with research grants and the great opportunity to have received field research training.
I am also most grateful to another/my second supervisor, Professor B, for his constructive guidance, generous support and inspired suggestions on my work(omit) during those years.

He has always had shrewd insight and given valuable detailed comments and suggestions which have greatly helped to improve the work and create a better version of the manuscripts. I always feel so lucky to have worked with the two excellent supervisors over these years.

Try:
His shrewd insights, and valued comments and suggestions, have been of such great benefit for improvement of my work, and in writing the manuscripts.

(Are you sure you mean 'manuscripts' and not something like 'dissertation' or 'thesis'?

I sincerely thank the official reviewers of the dissertation, Professor C and Professor D, for their time, careful work(omit) valuable comments and astute suggestions on the work(omit)
I owe my deep gratitude to all the researchers of the XX Studies and all the co-authors of my manuscripts, for their genuine interest, prompt response and skillful comments that greatly contributed to my manuscripts. A special thank goes to Dr. E, who has actively participated in this work and kindly provided me with such great asistance.

I wish to express my warm
(if you say 'warmest', you are suggesting that you feel even more appreciative of these people than those above)

thanks to my colleagues and friends, Dr. R, Dr. X and Dr. J, who have always extended their help and support during the years of study. I wish to(omit) thank Dr. M
for his generous share of the help and support I received, in my work and life in ***.

Further, I give my special thanks to P for her kind help in practical matters related to the work, and to F for his timely help in preparing for the popular abstract of this work.

(Are you sure you mean 'popular' - sounds odd.)

My deepest debt of gratitude is to my parents for their unlimited love and support. They have (omit) encouraged me throughout the years of my study.

(The period of study is over, and so their encouragement as you studied is over. So, you need the Past Tense, not the Present Perfect.)

The most special thanks belong(omit) I accord my wife W, for her unwavering understanding during all these years of my absence, her selfless love and support all along(omit) throughout, and her encouragement and companionship during the preparation of this thesis.

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Please give some comments on my dissertation acknowledgements

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