Please give me suggestions on my essay

I really need help on editting my essay, and with the structure/style of the essay. I know I'm a terrible writer, but this is for my English class and my teacher is expecting us to use all sorts of figurative devices (personification, aphorisms, allusions, etc). I can't seem to think of how to use these devices, and I know my Essay structure is very poor. If anybody could help me point out the errors and give me suggestions on what to improve I would appreciate it. Thanks!

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Many people would spend their monthly pay just to modify their precious cars. These people would add on spoilers, tinted windows, 22 inch rims, and even whole new paint jobs to their cars to make them look the way they want them to look. Another thing that people often add are whole new sound systems. Sound systems enhanced for the sole purpose of having good, solid base that could be heard from half a block away. Many people think of this as a nuisance. People who listen to loud music in cars have no respect for other people’s personal space.

One warm summer day, I was walking on a sidewalk when a car playing thunderous music drove past me, nearly splitting my eardrums in two. It was not until the car was out of sight that the noise faded away. The music from the car was inconceivably loud, enough to cause me to go deaf.

I can understand the need for music while driving on the road. Cars have become technologically advanced, giving people the luxury of having sound systems with rich and solid sound quality. It isn’t a crime for people to enjoy their music inside their cars while they’re stuck in traffic or to listen to the radio on early mornings when they have to go to work. As a matter of fact, I can’t think of any situation in which I would mind if somebody were listening to music while driving a car, as long as they keep the volume to a relatively moderate level.

But when people crank the volume up to the point where the sound is distorted and hurts the ears of anybody on the block, I find it totally unacceptable. Not to mention that sound at such high volumes can be damaging to the human ear. Yet, people continue to blast loud, obnoxious music in cars as if there were no problem at all.

Playing music at such high decibel levels completely defeats the purpose of playing music in the first place. When sound is intended to travel only a short distance, such as that inside a car, high volumes are redundant and unnecessary. If people feel the need to blast ear-piercing music in such situations, it only proves they use the music to cover up the fact that they are insecure about themselves. In other words, they feel that they can make themselves more important by blasting deafening music and attracting attention.

People who blast loud music while driving cars tend to be the same kind of people who have no regards for littering on the street, only care about themselves, and feel they are vastly superior than others. They feel that somehow, everybody should be listening to the same music they are listening to. People like that are selfish, ignorant, and uneducated. What about others who want to listen to their own music while being bombarded with absurd levels of noise in the air? What these people do not understand is that they ruin the atmosphere for everybody else who might be in the area. The only thing they consider is that they can achieve a good social status by blasting loud music on the street.
Music has always been a big part of our lives. And it still is. However it is disturbing to hear music that is projected many times louder than it is supposed to be. Perhaps

one day people will finally realize that there is more to life than merely attracting attention. Until then, we will have to learn to deal with listening to drivers blasting away at their

music, thinking they’re “all that.”