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Wreckday Posted 15 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please give me some suggetions

It is often not a good thing to move to a new town or country because they lose old friends.

Given the choice between agreeing or disagreeing the statement that it is often not a good thing to move to a new town or country because they lose old friends, which one do I choose? Some people believe that the answer is positive. However, I totally disagree that it is often not a good thing to move to a new town or country because they lose old friends. There are three reasons stated below.

First of all, it is the innovation of technology that can help us cement our relationships. For example, not only can we use the social networking service to know what happened to our friends, but we can use the webcam to see our friends immediately no matter where they live. In addition, with the development of the airplane and the high-speed rail, the earth we are living is getting smaller and smaller, and is more like a village.

What's more, it is experiencing the different cultures that can broaden our horizons. For instance, I have a friend who moved to the other country when I was young. After several years, she came back in Taiwan, and I thought she became a different person rather than the one I had known. Not merely can she speak different language fluently, and she was more confident than before. Therefore, moving to a new country can actually benefit us.

Most important, as an old saying goes, “absence makes the heart grow fonder”. In other words, if our friends cannot accompany us owing to the long distance, we will cherish the time that we have each others around rather than quarrel with them. In addition, moving to the new towns or the new country, we can make new friends. That is, making new friends can bring us new thought as well as expand our social network.

To sum up, I totally disagree that it is often not a good thing to move to a new town or country because they lose old friends for several reasons, among them the inventing the new technology, experiencing the different cultures, and cherishing the time we have each others around.
  

Top answer

Hi Wreckday, Here are some comments and edits for you to think about. If you don't understand any of it, please ask me. I wrote a lot aobut your first part, and then didn't look closely at the later part.

  • Hi Wreckday, Here are some comments and edits for you to think about.
  • If you don't understand any of it, please ask me.
  • I wrote a lot aobut your first part, and then didn't look closely at the later part.
  • If you like, try to rewrite this esssay, bearing n mind my suggestions, and then repost it here.
  • Clive It is often not a good thing to move to a new town or country because they lose old friends.
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5 Answers
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Hi Wreckday,

Here are some comments and edits for you to think about. If you don't understand any of it, please ask me.

I wrote a lot aobut your first part, and then didn't look closely at the later part.

If you like, try to rewrite th
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Clive, thanks for your suggestions. That is really helpful to me.

I rewrite my essay, and hope that it comes to your expectation.

Given the choice between agreeing or disagreeing with the statement that moving to a new country is not an wise decision owing to alienating our old friends. Some people believe that the answer is positive. Howe
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Hi,

I've offered some edits for you to think about, most of them in an attempt to make everything more strictly third person.

Write another, if you like, on another topic.

Clive

Given the ch
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Hi Clive,

Thanks for your editting~

Writting in third person is apropriate for the academic articles, and this method can actually help me not write like a high school student.

But I still have a question that is the topics in TOEFL often ask the participants to express their ideas or choose the site to support or oppose.

It could be possible that writting in fi
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Hi again,

Yes, your teacher is right about writing for TOEFL in first person. Other tests like the SAT are the same.

Generally, I suggest you look at this way. If the first or second person is mentioned in the question or topic, then you are being invited to write in that way. But if not, you have no such invitation.

eg your last topic was

It is often not

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