Please give me some feedbacks from my IELTS Writing. Thanks you

It is an irrefutable fact that the intrinsic value of laws is to control illegality and protect citizens, which means it will be in anarchy if citizens are at liberty to follow their desirabilities. From my perspective, I completely support this former view.

To commence with this point, I opine that legislation is properly pivotal in the country. Firstly, laws ensure human behavior must be always of moral standard. For instance, in many countries, the issue of sexual harassment among women even in the military is getting more and more unacceptable, guys often intend to go far as a woman allow, as a result, the legal defense to women from many sensitive matters namely abusing or raping is greatly crucial. The second point is extremely hindering the number of potential crimes. By the psychological impacts, strict rules create the fear as well hesitation on numerous people before they decide to commit the crime.

Through the laws, fundamental rights and citizen’s responsibilities can be protected by the government. Government has the exclusive right to enforce citizens to pay taxes from their salaries; therefore, they can use fiscal money to reform several public services such as education, healthcare, road improvement,... In addition, human rights are always warranted by the legal system. They guarantee that every member in the country is entitled to freedom of choice, freedom of speech,… and equal treatment in all respects.

To put it in a nutshell, I can not be against that rules and laws are the predominant importance of any society. A society, which no rules will become disarrayed with a drastic increase in crimes as well as inhumane actions. Finally, I believe that an individual's function will be better if given guidelines.