Please give me some feedbacks about my ielts writing task 2

Fossil fuels, such as coal, oil and natural gas, are the main sources in many countries. However, in some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy such as wind and solar energy are encouraged. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

People have different views about whether we should take advantage of exploit energy sources rather than renewable energy resources. From my perspective, this problem is caused by some factors, and it can lead to a wide range of positive consequences.

To begin with, there are lots of reasons to explain why energy sources become the main sources in many countries. Firstly, in some poor countries, the government is not likely to provide funding for natural resources equipment such as a solar panel. To illustrate, a poor nation like Africa due to low literacy and government sponsorship are insufficient for well-equipped cutting-edge amenities to serve for daily routine as well as industries and enterprises. Additionally, the Sahara desert makes up a large area of this country so that wind farms tend to not built to supply a huge energy resource to some nuclear families as well as industries. Secondly, the rate of getting cancer and degenerative illnesses or respiratory in less developing countries is higher than in other developing nations. A typical example of this is that some diseases like asthma, cholera is increasingly widespread leading to the government have to curb public spending on the expansion of the company and enterprise to develop the economy.

Furthermore, I strongly believe that exploiting alternative sources of energy such as wind and solar energy bring a huge number of advantages. Firstly, an accelerating number of industries discharge industrial waste into the environment causing habitat destruction and global warming. Additionally, reducing the dependence on fossil fuels, which helps to cut down on gas emissions directly discharging into the environment and thus lessen the rate of carbon footprint. Secondly, a wide variety of endangered species are going to be extinct. A typical example of this is that, the greenhouse effect has a negative impact on the natural habitat such as the phenomenon of forest get fired leading to an abundance of species are on the brink of extinction.

To sum up, there are several reasons why energy sources become the main source in country and the use of natural resources are encouraged and such a significant development.