Please give me some feedback on the following art topic question

Question: Some people think that art is an essential subject for all children at school while others think it is a waste of time. discuss both view and give your opinion.

My answer:

People holding conflicting views about the significance of art subjects in the school curriculum. While some may argue that they are unessential , I think that investing time in these subjects is vitally important .

There are some plausible reasons why art is considered time-wasting. First, children are usually advised not to pay much attention to this discipline because some parents may think that it is merely a form of entertainment and not likely to bring many job prospects to their children. Second, arts in many countries are not often used to assess learners' performance in major exams, such as the university entrance examination. As a result, school children are encouraged to spend much of their time on academic subjects, including maths and physics, which may help them secure a place in their favourite universities.

However, I would argue that the arts should not be taken lightly because they can bring some practical value. One obvious advantage is that children with artistic talent would become well-rounded, which is regarded as competitive edges when they apply for scholarships. For example, apart from academic performance, candidates with artistry are more likely to stand out in comparison to their counterparts. Furthermore, students would certainly benefit from hours of relaxation when joining art classes where they are free to create paintings or to make sculptures. On the contrary, students often struggle with academic subjects, such as maths and physics, feeling stressed and intimidated at times because of the highly cognitive demand.

In conclusion, although art can be marginalized by some, I still believe that children will reap many benefits of learning arts.