Please give me some feedback on my IELTS Writing Task 2? Thanks!

In some countries, advertisers increase the amount of advertising which tries to persuade children to buy snacks, toys, and other goods. Parents object to such pressure on children. But some advertisers claim that there is useful information in these advertisements. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is widely acknowledged that we are living in a highly sophisticated marketing environment, and targeted customers of companies are not only adults but also children. Some parents accused advertisers of putting undesirable pressure on their children as well as their budget by creating more advertising content aimed at this group. However, marketing executives insist that these types of adverts bring about substantial benefits to the public and children. I would argue that the two opinions should be reconciled before coming to conclusion.

It is understandable why parents object to companies’ attempts to attract children’s attention to their products. Children cannot earn money, so a heavy financial burden falls on adults, who are responsible for nurturing them. Consequently, when parents cannot meet their demands, some children tend to become stubborn and acquire bad habits such as pilfering. By contrast, if their needs are easily fulfilled, they will continue pestering for unnecessary products at unreasonable prices, including toys and unhealthy foods. In addition, children are particularly vulnerable to the persuasive intents of television of online marketing, especially when it contains attractive images and catchy tunes. Some adverts may take advantage of this to manipulate children and spread malicious information, so those whose perceptions do not fully develop may imitate negative actions and toxic thoughts.

However, I believe that it is worth mentioning the meaningful messages that some adverts convey. Those do not only educate children in a relatively natural way but also help parents to guide them to distinguish between false and true claims. For instance, hand sanitizer advertisements provide children with hygiene knowledge or dairy companies instruct them to recycle and protect the environment. Due to their easy-to-grasp expressions, children-oriented advertisements are also advantageous to parents during the child upbringing process. They can make a comparison between various products and decide which products are the most suitable for their children.

To conclude, despite the overuse and misuse of advertisements targeted at children, I personally support these kinds of marketing to facilitate the comprehension ability of children and provide useful information to their parents.