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Mytraa Posted 5 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please give me some feedback on my IELTS Writing Task 2. Thanks!

A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defense but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree?

It is widely recognized that social security is one of the primary concerns of every government. Some people advocate that state funding should be allocated efficiently to national defense, rather than welfare payments. Personally, I completely disagree with this notion, as both of them have accumulative effects on the well-being of the society.

Powerful military, widely accepted as one of the main precursors to a guarantee of peace to the whole country. By fostering the military force and upgrading potent weapons, a nation can deter aggressive neighbors or terrorists from attacking a country and thereby prevents the loss of innocent lives and property. People would feel assured living and working in a country where riots and international terrorism are under control. Moreover, in some countries, military can help with law enforcement and promote political stability by maintaining the sovereignty of the government.

Although the armed force is fundamental to the stability and development of a country, it is not to say that social well-being does not merit public money. In the hierarchy of human needs, healthcare services, food supply, and shelter are among the basic. By providing necessary public services for people from all walks of life, the state can improve their standard of living and facilitate comprehensive social development. If there were no assistance policy such as housing allowance, unemployment and disability benefits or health insurance, the vulnerable individuals and disadvantaged people would suffer. As a result, this would exacerbate the disparity between the haves and have-nots. In addition, citizens are entitled to either social benefits or financial support from government as they bear tax liabilities.

In conclusion, although defense is of paramount importance and government should direct public fund to this sector to maintain the social order and security. However, it cannot be at the expense of welfare benefits, as they carry out a variety of functions in a country.


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