Please give me some feedback on my IELTS writing task 2. I welcome all constructive feedback so don't hesitate to point out my mistakes. Thanks a lot.

Prompt: Some people think that people should be given the right to use fresh water as they like. Others believe governments should strictly control the use of fresh water. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is contended that humans should have the freedom to use clean water as much as they need, while others argue that the access to this most basic necessity for survival should be under strict management of the authorities. Considering positive and negative aspects of both view, I aver that the latter is more reasonable and justifiable.

On the one hand, it is believed that the rights of humankinds to access freely and unlimitedly to the source of fresh H2O . Water has always been an indispensable factor to sustaining healthy livelihoods, eradicating poverty and most importantly, building a prosperous society. The comparison between undeveloped countries, whose residents have poor water access, and developed countries is the study of this notion. Compared to the U.S, Britain, and Japan, nations, namely Sudan , have considerably higher rates of conflicts, inflations, crime, at 25 state-based conflicts, 41.8% and 6.26%, respectively.

On the other hand, however convincing the precious view may sound, I am still of the opinion that the restriction on water usage is a must, especially in countries locating near the equator. ? As a result of a universal phenomenon, known as Global warming, clean water in many nations, for example Egypt or Saudi Arabi, has completely vaporized, posing threats to theirs residents. Furthermore, because of toxic industrial waste directly bumped into several water bodies, the amount of drinkable H20 is shrinking dramatically. Therefore, it will be justifiable and fair for people in upper-class to use water in washing dishes or cleaning their high-end vehicles, while those in lower-class has nothing to stay hydrated.

For the points I have presented, I can firmly conclude that the controlled access to water is the most efficient way in order to assure that there is enough fresh water for every human on Earth. From my perspective, even if the authorities do not restrict water usage, each individual has to use this precious fluid economically.