Please give me some feedback on my IELTS Writing Task 2!

TOPIC: The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Social media is becoming an indispensable part of this digital age and has tremendous impacts on the way people communicate. As a result, traditional face-to-face interaction gradually loses its position, and it is projected to disappear among many people. While this development may bring about some benefits, I would argue that they are eclipsed by more significant drawbacks.

On the positive side, social networking sites play an important role in connecting people and fostering cultural exchange. For those who have barriers of geography distance, a virtual meeting is much more convenient and cost-saving when considering factors such as travel, scheduling and time arrangements, compared to an in-person one. In addition, communication through texting can prevent awkward silence among first-time acquaintances, especially to introverted individuals or those who do not have good communication skills. Consequently, there are decreased incidences of undesirable misunderstandings and conflicts, which can lead to violence or bullying.

However, it is worth mentioning the downside effects when people no longer talk directly in the real life. First of all, excessive social usage can trigger antisocial behaviors and perceived social isolation. Due to not being engaged in face-to-face interaction for a long time, people gradually form fears of communicating and lose the ability to strike up a conversation. Furthermore, the quality of a conversation when using digital platforms is unpleasant because we cannot sense the emotion and interest of the other person. Finally, this can widen the gap among people and worsen some close relationships. For instance, family intimacy is reduced as most children prefer being on their phones to check notifications rather than sharing with their parents in gatherings.

To conclude, social media taking precedence over conventional interaction may contribute to some relationship problems and serious isolation among people. In this sense, I believe the potential negatives of this development are more significant than the possible benefits.