Please give me some feedback on my IELTS Writing Task 1. Thanks!
The graph below shows the use of renewable energy accounting for the total energy from 1971 to 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph compares the percentages of alternative resources in the total energy consumed by 6 countries, namely Finland, Denmark, France, Germany, United States, and the United Kingdom between 1971 and 2011.
Overall, the demand for using sustainable energy of five in six countries rose over years, with the United States showing the biggest difference. The exception was a noticeable decrease in that of Finland, although it always recorded the highest consumption throughout four decades.
At the beginning of the time span, about a quarter of the energy used by Finland was renewable, coming in second was Denmark with 15%. Both showed marked variations, hitting a trough in 1986 before picking up again to approximately 24% and 17% in the final year. Meanwhile, for the United States, the proportion was roughly 18% in 2011 compared to just under 3% in 1971, which amounted to a factor of six growth and surpassed Denmark by a negligible value.
Significant increases occurred in three other countries over 40 years, with France and Germany sharing almost similar pattern, going up from 8% to 14% and 5% to 13% respectively, despite a drop between 1981 and 1991. In the United Kingdom, there was a rise of 5% in energy usage, from merely 1% to 6% in 2011.
Top answer
) consumed by 6 six countries, namely Finland, Denmark, France, Germany, United States, and the United Kingdom between 1971 and 2011. Overall, the demand for using sustainable use of renewable energy of five in of the six (You must use " the " because you are referring to the six listed earlier. "six countries" without " the " can mean any six in the entire world.
- ) consumed by 6 six countries, namely Finland, Denmark, France, Germany, United States, and the United Kingdom between 1971 and 2011.
- Overall, the demand for using sustainable use of renewable energy of five in of the six (You must use " the " because you are referring to the six listed earlier.
- "six countries" without " the " can mean any six in the entire world.
- You must use the definite article.
- ) countries rose over the years, (You must use " the " because you are referring specifically to 1971 -2011 which was mentioned earlier.
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The line graph compares the percentages of alternative resources in the total energy (Not good - it does not make sense.) consumed by 6 six countries, namely Finland, Denmark, France, Germany, United States, and the United Kingdom between 1
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