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Nhi247 Posted 4 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please give me some feebacks about my writing task 1


The bar chart given compares the number of tourists visiting four museums in London, including the History Museum, the British Museum, the National Museum and the Science Museum in June, July, August, September and December.

In general, the British Museum had the largest number of visitors in most months of the period, while the National Museum was the least popular choice in every month. In addition, in June and July, each of the four museums attracted a relatively the same amount of visitors.

August was the most favored month to guests in the whole period, when the British Museum came first, with about 720000 tourists, followed by the History Museum (600000). In September and December, however, there were significant declines in the number of people who visited all four galleries, except for a slight increase of the Science Museum’s visitors by almost 100000.

The number of visitors in June and July shared similar features, with all guests staying around 410000, apart from the National Museum with a half number of approximately 200000. Moreover, the amount of people visiting the National Museum then rose to 310000 in August and dropped back to 200000 in the last two months of the period

(200 words)

  

Top answer

) compares the number of tourists visiting four museums in London, including the History Museum, the British Museum, the National Museum and the Science Museum in June, July, August, September and December. In general, the British Museum had the largest number of visitors in most months of the period , while the National Museum was the least popular choice in every month. In addition, in June and July, each of the four museums attracted a relatively (ungrammatical.

— AlpheccaStars

  • ) compares the number of tourists visiting four museums in London, including the History Museum, the British Museum, the National Museum and the Science Museum in June, July, August, September and December.
  • In general, the British Museum had the largest number of visitors in most months of the period , while the National Museum was the least popular choice in every month.
  • In addition, in June and July, each of the four museums attracted a relatively (ungrammatical.
  • It is also untrue.
  • ) the same amount of visitors.
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2 Answers
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The bar chart given (Omit - it is unnatural and unnecessary.) compares the number of tourists visiting four museums in London, including the History Museum, the British Museum, the National Museum and the Science Museum in June, July, August, September and December.

In general, the British Museum had the largest number of visitors in most months of the p

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Sample essay (~190 words)

The bar chart gives the counts of monthly visitors to each of four museums in London starting in June and ending in October. The museums are: the History Museum, British Museum, National Museum and Science Museum.

Overall, the month of August had the highest counts for three of the four museums. The exception was the Science Museum, which had the most visi

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