Please give me some advices on my IELTS task 2 essay

That is my effort to write down an essay. Thank a lot for your help.

Some people believe that governments should stop spending money on the arts. Instead, they should use this money to improve vital services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essay:

Some people support the idea that instead of investing money in the arts, government should give more financial supports for vital services like schools or hospitals. In my opinion, I partly agree with this point of view.
On the one hand, there are some justifications why governments should spend money on developing the arts. Firstly, the artists have deserved the investment of country’s authority because of their great contribution. For instance, the national image will be benefited by the famous singers when they are on tours and introducing their country to foreign friends. Secondly, developing the arts means to nurture the spiritual lives of people, meaning that those investments aim to meet a basic need of residents. Lastly, there are countless patent potential artists are in desperate needs of the supports from the government to develop their career alongside contributing to the general development of the country.
On the other hand, it cannot be denied that more attention should be given to other vital services. As a matter of fact, the amount of money spend on the arts is too much compared to more important occupations. For example, a singer can earn a great deal of money by simply singing a song in just 5 minutes while the doctors or teachers are unpaid and untreated. Additionally, people can live easily with the lack of the arts, but they cannot exist under conditions without healthcare systems or education. In other words, the necessity of other vital services is outweighing the demands for arts.
In conclusion, it seems to me that it is not necessary to stop investing in the arts, but government should provide more money to develop the vital services.