Please give me feedback on my IELTS writing task 2 and I welcome all constructive feedback . Thanks a lot.

Prompt: Many would argue that scientific research requires a degree of oversight from the relevant governmental authorities. In my opinion, properly handled, this is a sensible and necessary policy. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

In this highly-developed era, when the amount of research conducted is significantly higher than any other period; hence, governing bodies are strongly motivated to supervise, to a certain extent, relevant experimentations. However, personally, merits of this policy will eclipse drawbacks should it be properly .

First, the oversight of the authority may result in unnecessary intervention due to the conspicuously distinct difference between politicians and scientists. Undoubtedy , scientists are more content to make risky decisions, whereas the governments are more likely to prioritize safer ones . The paradigm is the research on contraception, which was cancelled under Obama’s presidency; had this experimentation succeeded, it would have saved a plethora of teenage moms from having to give up their education and career.

However, if researchers worked freely, in other words, without government’s supervision, they may cause profound consequences. Since research not only originates from human’s needs but also from conductors’ ambitions and curiosity, which can be understandable why most conductors do not take consequences into consideration. Recently, there has been an experiment on the colonization of Mars and the governments should oversee such a risky ambition. So huge a step it is for our civilization that it can act as a threat to our survival. Should humanity not advance enough to deal with extraterrestrial phenomena and beings, it will become a cataclysm, which demolishes us.

In conclusion, though governmental interferences may hinder potentially groundbreaking inventions, it would be more proper and safer for humanity when governments are in supervision. However, this policy should be regulated properly since risky research may even turn out a force for development of our society.