Please give me feedback for my IELTS Task 2

Topic:

Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person.

Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Essay:

In recent years, it has become far more normal for people to interact with others through online social networks. Some researchers argue that many young people desire to interact through their technological devices rather than face-to-face.

From a social perspective, technology has had an impact on human communication methods. Firstly, the Internet allows people in different countries to interact without ever meeting each other in person. It is faster and more convenient instead of waiting to set up a date at an appropriate time for all participants. Secondly, teenagers choose to make friends on social media platforms such as Facebook and Instagram, rather than mix with their peers in the real life. It can be understood that behind the screens, they can be more comfortable expressing their emotions, ideas, and perspectives without the complexity of exteriority, money, and age. However, the availability of new communication technologies can also have the result of isolating young people and discouraging real interaction. Therefore, it is vital for parents and schools to put in some methods to inspire teenagers to gather with others in real life.

From my view, there are some useful manners to encourage young people to spend more time meeting others. The simplest measure we could take is to organize more outdoor activities that appeal to young people, such as festivals, campaigns, and sports contests. This may reduce the attention of teenagers to virtual activities on the Internet. Another solution is that parents should arrange some family gatherings to give their children opportunities to share their feelings and overcome obstacles.

In conclusion, online communication has a huge impact on the lifestyles of people these days, but not all of the outcomes of this impact have been positive.