Please give me feedback and score, thank you so much for reading my essays, IELTS writing task 2

To some people studying the past has little value in the modern world. Why do you think it is important to do so? What will be the effect if children are not taught history?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

My essay:

It can be seen that many people consider history to be a useless subject and not valuable in the modern world. However, history added to the education systems has persuaded reasons. And in my point of view, studying about the past brings people, especially children, many positive aspects to become better in characteristics and knowledge.

First and foremost, if we have a chance to access the past, we will get to know about our roots, how the earth formed, how we were born, and how our societies developed. From that, everyone is able to understand their identities more clearly and may treasure the current moments they are existing in the world and the great effort of seniors. What is more, we can get inspired by the success of famous scientists all around the world. When getting amazed at the great work and success of others, people seem to have more energy and motivation to achieve their goals in the future. Moreover, students can also learn from others’ mistakes and conclude valuable lessons for their own through history. The events that happened in the past reflect many things about life, so when students study about them, they can understand in-depth, and have the knowledge to resist these same bad circumstances, as well as make improvements.

As opposed to the well-educated ones, those who are not taught about history do not have wide knowledge to have a large view about life. They seem to save less, not treasure what they are owning at the moment, and helpless in the growth of humanity’s society. For instance, students remembering and understanding historical events will have pride in their nations and have desires of helping the country to go up than those who do not.

Above all, studying the past has a variety of benefits for humans’ knowledge and minds. Schools and universities should be encouraged to teach students more deeply about the true validation of history.