Please give me feedback and score for this writing task 2

Some people think that childcare centers provide the best services for children of preschool age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their kids. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In modern world, parents are very busy to take care of their children. Some people give this responsibility for care services. Others bring to grandparents house. In my opinion, i agree with taking children to nursery.
Grandparents' care has some benefits. First, parents feel secure about their children because grandparents could usually provide undevided attention. It is a stable, safe and loving and fun environment. If the parents are called in to work on an off day, it is flexibility to take them to their grandparents. Second, it also save a lot of money of paying the high cost of childcare. Futhermore, children can save the best memory beside their grandparents.
On the other hand, i would agree that it is better to take children to care services. It is a good environment for children to make friends, do activities. Teacher teach them a lot of lessons for kids. Children can increase cognitive abilities, improve language development and better relationships with peers. Kids need plenty of time to have fun and socialize, but parents don't have time to take care of them. At a daycare, children are not only given opportunities to play games and have fun, they also get the chance to establish friendships that they can keep throughout their school .The nursery also has a large playground for children to play and grow up. Moreover, children will become more independent and learn new things from school. They can eat, do personal hygiene and sleep themselves. Being able to work with others shows them how to have better behaviors and teaches them to become team players. They learn how to share, play and learn well together while their personalities emerge and minds grow and behave polite with alduts.
In conclusion, although grandparents' care is the safer way for children, i think that children centers are much better