Please give me comments on my IELTS writing task 2

Some people say that free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Most children love to spend their free time participating in some activities. Some people suggest that such activities should be organized by parents, while others maintain that children should freely choose their favorite activities. In my opinion, parents should be responsible for organizing leisure activities for children.

The main reason why it is proposed that children choose their own leisure activities is that parents may not understand their psychology. It is common for different children to enjoy doing different activities, making parents not fully know their preferences. Therefore, if children have the rights to do what they like in their leisure time, they can be fully immersed in the activities. For example, while some children would rather play with toys at home, their parents like to take them out to the park, which leads to their disappointment.

However, in my opinion, it is necessary for parents to organize pastime activities for their children. The primary reason is that parents can monitor their children because some activities are unsuitable for people of young ages. For example, children nowadays like to watch videos on YouTube whose contents are sometimes inappropriate. Some videos contain swear words, violence, or stupid challenges which are harmful to children’s mentality. Under the supervision of parents, children are protected from questionable contents. Another reason is that parents can join the activities and have a good time with their children. In fact, some fathers play video games with their sons to enjoy their free time.

In conclusion, while some people suggest children be allowed to partake in any free time activities, I would argue that parents should organize such activities.