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Thinkerinhell Posted 15 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Please feedback on my IELTS essay
Topic:
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged, others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adult.
Discuss both views and give your own opinions
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The issue of focusing more on competition or cooperation in children education has sparked heated detabtes recently. Some people argue that competition should be introduced to the early stage of education, while others believe that to teach cooperation is more important than to promote competition among children. As far as I am concerned, I am in favor of the former view.
Convincing arguments can be made that competition should be encouraged in children education. First of all, competition is not only a human nature, but also can be found commonly in other species, especially in mammal. This also complies with the law of natural selection: only the fittest group or individual in competition can survive from natural selection. So this innate characteristic should be guided as early as possible in education.
Secondly, the early education o competition gives advantages to children in better adapting to their adult life in future. Give the intensive competition environment in contemporary society, children who practice competition early in their childhood may handle the stress and pressure, which are caused by competition more efficient.
Admittedly, cooperation is also an essential trait of a successful adult in present society, as it not only creates friendly working environment, but also boost up efficiency of production, especially for the task which needs a group of people working together toward a common goal. However, people who believe cooperation is more crucial might overlook an important fact that purposes of most cooperation tasks are to compete with other groups.
To conclude, despite the benefits cooperation may bring, I would argue that competition is more important to be taught in school, not only because it is an innate characteristic in our body, but also it will benefit more on the children's future adult life.
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged, others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adult.
Discuss both views and give your own opinions
----------------------------------
The issue of focusing more on competition or cooperation in children education has sparked heated detabtes recently. Some people argue that competition should be introduced to the early stage of education, while others believe that to teach cooperation is more important than to promote competition among children. As far as I am concerned, I am in favor of the former view.
Convincing arguments can be made that competition should be encouraged in children education. First of all, competition is not only a human nature, but also can be found commonly in other species, especially in mammal. This also complies with the law of natural selection: only the fittest group or individual in competition can survive from natural selection. So this innate characteristic should be guided as early as possible in education.
Secondly, the early education o competition gives advantages to children in better adapting to their adult life in future. Give the intensive competition environment in contemporary society, children who practice competition early in their childhood may handle the stress and pressure, which are caused by competition more efficient.
Admittedly, cooperation is also an essential trait of a successful adult in present society, as it not only creates friendly working environment, but also boost up efficiency of production, especially for the task which needs a group of people working together toward a common goal. However, people who believe cooperation is more crucial might overlook an important fact that purposes of most cooperation tasks are to compete with other groups.
To conclude, despite the benefits cooperation may bring, I would argue that competition is more important to be taught in school, not only because it is an innate characteristic in our body, but also it will benefit more on the children's future adult life.
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