Please Evalute - IELTS writing task 2
Please review. I have already understood one obvious mistake of not writing 250 words but need review comments on my english.
Unlike olden days, modern technology has empowered people to move around the world very conveniently that people often move across borders hassle free. This movement often gives rise to cosmopolitan cities all around the world which maybe challenging for any government. A government would always like to ensure people coexist harmoniously and there are many ways in which this can be achieved.
Let me start by saying that the government must and should stress upon equality and impartiality. For example, it is disappointing if a person is denied or provided partial healthcare only because he/she moved from elsewhere. Similar is the case with law and safety.
The second suggestion would be to impart good values in the children. The reason I say this is because we need to teach our children to recognise and respect other religion and culture. This is one reason why people end up in conflict.
The last suggestion would be to have celebrations to unite people. Such as "Dusshera", a state-wide celebration in India. This event extends beyond caste, colour and creed making it a platform to unite people.
Although we see differences and war all around us, we should strive to live harmoniously. It is not just the government's job but people too need to participate in this goal equally.
Top answer
Unlike in the olden days, modern technology has empowered people to move around the world very conveniently that people often move across borders hassl e-f ree. This movement often gives has given rise to cosmopolitan cities all around the worl d, which ma y b e challenging for any government. A government would always like In order to ensure people in such socially complex cities coexist harmoniousl y, and there are many policies and measures governments can promote and implement.
- Unlike in the olden days, modern technology has empowered people to move around the world very conveniently that people often move across borders hassl e-f ree.
- This movement often gives has given rise to cosmopolitan cities all around the worl d, which ma y b e challenging for any government.
- A government would always like In order to ensure people in such socially complex cities coexist harmoniousl y, and there are many policies and measures governments can promote and implement.
- ways in which this can be achieved.
- Let me start by saying that the First, a government must and should stress upon equality and impartiality.
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Unlike in the olden days, modern technology has empowered people to move around the world very conveniently that people often move across borders hassle-free. This movement often gives has given rise to cosmopolitan cities all around the worl
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