Please evaluate my ielts writing task 1
Task 1: The diagram below describes how storm water is recycled in an Australian city.
My essay: 
The diagram illustrates the process of recycling water from a storm in an Austrailian city.
Overall, it can be seen that the process contains five main phases,starting with collecting storm water through drains, and ending with leading recycled water to customers.
The first stage is to catch the rain that falls on the ground, then the water is led to the water recycling plant via drains that are underground. In the next stages, water goes through a four-step process, which aims to remove unnecessary waste. The water is first removed plastic and rubbish, then small particles, followed by the process of eliminating bacteria, viruses, and also molecucles, and salt. After that, chlorine is added into the water with the concentration of 4 milligram per litre. As all the recycling process is finished, water will be stored for later use. When the weather is hot and the water demand increases, this water is used to supply to consumers.
Top answer
The diagram illustrates the process of recycling water from a storm (Not just one storm. There are many storms and this infrastructure is used for all of them. The general term is "storm water" but you can use "rainwater") in an Austrailian city.
- The diagram illustrates the process of recycling water from a storm (Not just one storm.
- There are many storms and this infrastructure is used for all of them.
- The general term is "storm water" but you can use "rainwater") in an Austrailian city.
- ) the process contains five main phas es,sta rting with collecting storm water (You can use " runoff from heavy rainstorms" This is excess rain that does not seep into the ground.
- ) through drains, and ending with leading providing fresh, clean recycled water to customers.
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The diagram illustrates the process of recycling water from a storm (Not just one storm. There are many storms and this infrastructure is used for all of them. The general term is "storm water" but you can use "rainwater") in an Austrailian city.
Overall, it can be seen that
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