Please evaluate my 300-word essay

Hello teachers. The task requires an average of 250 words, upward to 350 words, which I feel prevents me from fully expanding my points in some places.

Anyhow, this is the question:

Some think increasing business and cultural contact between nations is positive. Others think it leads to the disappearance of the national identity. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

My answer:

Some people believe the integration of businesses and cultures from outside countries can bring about a lot of benefits, while others think it strips nations of their identity. While I agree with the former position, countries still need to be cautious in being too eager to welcome foreign perspectives.

Proponents of welcoming foreign businesses and cultures often point to the opportunity for job creation. Indeed, jobs such as logistics or production, to name just a few, need to be created to facilitate cooperation between host countries. Also, more ventures entering the playing field means increased healthy competition for existing businesses. This requires everyone to make better use of their resources, generally in the form of lower prices or better services, which ultimately benefit the customers. Besides, exposure to other cultures can give people a whole new outlook on life. Westerners, for example, who generally subscribe to the values of individualism, can learn the values of collectivism from the East.

The reception of international trade and cultures can have its drawbacks. Tiktok, for example, is an apparently innocent software that floods the global online landscape with mostly Chinese people showing their lifestyles. With its alarming influence, individuals everywhere, especially teenagers, who are often the more impressionable, are seen mimicking such behaviors and over time may find it unnecessary to develop a lifestyle of their own. In terms of business, there is a risk of monopoly from foreign actors. Indeed, giant corporations with a vast amount of resources can afford to sell their products with predatory pricing for many years. Gradually, domestic companies with much less capital could be driven out of business due to their exhausted funds, and a possible lack of antitrust laws in less developed countries.

In conclusion, embracing different business and cultural practices can be beneficial to a nation, as it presents new opportunities for job seekers and cultural appreciation. The pitfalls include loss of cultural identity and unfair competition. This, however, can be countered through proactive regulation and selective adoption of new perspectives.