Please Evaluate - IELTS writing task 2

Topic:

"In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care.
Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience."

Essay:

It is a common practice in Britain, for elderly and senior citizens to reside in Retirement homes
after a certain age, with care takers or nurses to manage and help with their daily chores. Occasionally,
the Government has to take care of the expenses for this care. This essay opinionates, that the
expenditure for the elderly care should, not only be abided by the government, but also by the family.
Firstly, this essay will discuss on the reason why aged people are sent to nursing homes. Followed
by a solution on how the liabilities can be shared.

On an Average, the cost of living for a family of 4 will be 2000 to 2500 Euros. With older people at
home, the family needs to forsee additional medical expenses too. Further, parents are to plan
ahead for the childrens' tutition fees. This may vary, depending on the income that the family receives.
For a family who have limited income, it would be a distress, if a situation of emergency arises for the elderly.
On such cases, we could see that the family is obliged to move their parents/in-laws to old-age homes
. As this would ease their anxiousness on what might happen. But this would not be the case with a family
who have enough earning and saving every month. They can afford any unexpected expenses that
can happen with the family members. The occasion of them, sending elderly to nursing homes would be
because of working parents having busy schedules and inability for them to supervise.

When the expenses for the elders during the stay at home for the Aged are incurred by the Government,
a family having less wages will be very well benifitted. On the other hand, a family who has enough money
to bear the expense, can share the fee for the stay of the older member of the family - on a 50-50 basis
together with the government allowances. This structure of payment, will be convenient for family with different financial background. This will also help the needy and improve the welfare of the people
of all category, because the government can provide more attention to the ones with the necessity.
To conclude, taking into consideration the well being of all the people, and to bring balance to living spaces, affluent society can provide a share or take care of the cost of expense of the stay of their family member
at retirement communities along with the Government trust grant.