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Anonymous Posted 16 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Please edit my poorly-written one paragraph
Hi all,
I'm a student who really wants to improve my writing skill.
I've written the following paragraph without any help of dictionary and googling.
Woud you edit the paragraph if you think there are any word or sentence which is, simply, not English? Please polish up the following paragraph so that i can write "real English"
thanks,
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Title: Do fat people have heightened smell sensitivity of food?
You would think that heavy people would have a heightened smell sensitivity than those who are not. Also you would think this might be the reason why fat people are likely to get weight in a faster speed (than those who are not fat). However, a recent work has revealed that it is not true. Regardless of how much they are heavy, the work shows people of being hungry have a tendency to have a better smell sensitivity to non-food, not food even before eating any meal. Interestingly, after eating meals heavy people are more likely to prefer food scenes than non-food scenes. Researchers believe this might drive the heavy people to not put down their forks and knifes, and tuck food in.
I'm a student who really wants to improve my writing skill.
I've written the following paragraph without any help of dictionary and googling.
Woud you edit the paragraph if you think there are any word or sentence which is, simply, not English? Please polish up the following paragraph so that i can write "real English"
thanks,
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Title: Do fat people have heightened smell sensitivity of food?
You would think that heavy people would have a heightened smell sensitivity than those who are not. Also you would think this might be the reason why fat people are likely to get weight in a faster speed (than those who are not fat). However, a recent work has revealed that it is not true. Regardless of how much they are heavy, the work shows people of being hungry have a tendency to have a better smell sensitivity to non-food, not food even before eating any meal. Interestingly, after eating meals heavy people are more likely to prefer food scenes than non-food scenes. Researchers believe this might drive the heavy people to not put down their forks and knifes, and tuck food in.
Top answer
I have underlined some problem areas and struck out useless verbiage: Title: Do fat people ha ve he ightened smell sensitivity of food? You would think that heavy people would have a heightened smell sensitivity than those who are not. Also you would think this might be the reason why fat people are likely to get weight in a faster speed (than those who are not fat) .
- I have underlined some problem areas and struck out useless verbiage: Title: Do fat people ha ve he ightened smell sensitivity of food?
- You would think that heavy people would have a heightened smell sensitivity than those who are not.
- Also you would think this might be the reason why fat people are likely to get weight in a faster speed (than those who are not fat) .
- However, a recent work has revealed that it is not true.
- Regardless of how much they are heavy , the work shows people of being hungry have a tendency to have a better smell sensitivity to non-food, not food even before eating any meal.
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1 Answers
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I have underlined some problem areas and struck out useless verbiage:
Title: Do fat people have heightened smell sensitivity of food?
You would think that heavy people would have a heightened smell sensitivity than those who are not. Also you would think this might be the reason why fat people are likely to get w
Title: Do fat people have heightened smell sensitivity of food?
You would think that heavy people would have a heightened smell sensitivity than those who are not. Also you would think this might be the reason why fat people are likely to get w
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