Please correct this IELTS essay for me and give me a score. Thanks a lot

Question

In some countries, people waste a lot of food that they buy in shops and restaurants. Why do people waste food ? What can we do to reduce the rate ? In several regions, an obscene amount of food in stores and restaurants are being thrown away. There are various reasons for this trend and a number of solutions can be mapped out to deal with the problem.Several factors might lead to this wastage. Firstly, it is crystal clear that the cost of food has become a lot lower so people can easily buy any food at an affordable cost. Thus, it is easier for them to justify throwing away unfinished or unwanted food without any regrets. Secondly, people worry about getting food poisoning from any products that have passed their expiration date. As a result, consumers who normally want the freshest and finest quality will waste leftover food.For the problem to be addressed, several proposals could be put forward. To begin with, one of the most effective ways to prevent food from being disposed of irresponsibly is to impose appropriate punishments on people who waste food. For example, restaurants can charge extra for dishes that are ordered but not finished to make diners more thoughtful about their orders. In addition, raising public awareness about the consequences of food waste also plays a huge part in cutting down food waste. At the same time, people can avoid waste food by understanding the dates on food to know exactly whether they can use it for meals or not.In conclusion, several factors might lead to this issue. Every consumer is recommended to take immediate actions to retrieve the best outcome.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

You wrote exactly 250 words. That is on the margin of losing points for not writing "at least 250" words. Aim for 270-290.

Your essay repeats the phrase "waste" and "food" a lot. You need to add another argument point to avoid this repetition and also to add length to the essay.

In ~~several regions~~, many places, an obscene amount of food in homes, stores and restaurants are (wrong form) being thrown away. (That is not on target. The topic is also about food in people's homes.) ~~There are various reasons for this trend and a number of solutions can be mapped out to deal with the problem~~.

Write a better thesis statement. e.g. This is primarily due to abundant supplies of affordable food, but wastage can be curtailed.

Several factors might lead to this wastage. ~~Firstly~~, First, it is crystal clear that the cost of food has become a lot lower so people can easily buy any food at an affordable cost. Thus, it is easier for them to justify throwing away unfinished or unwanted food without any regrets. ~~Secondly~~, Second, people worry about getting food poisoning from any products that have passed their expiration date. As a result, consumers who normally want the freshest and finest quality will waste leftover food.

For the problem to be addressed, several proposals could be put forward. To begin with, one of the most effective ways to prevent food from being disposed of irresponsibly is to impose appropriate punishments on people who waste food. For example, restaurants can charge extra for dishes that are ordered but not finished to make diners more thoughtful about their orders. In addition, raising public awareness ~~about the consequences of food waste~~ (You repeat this a lot.) could also play a ~~huge part~~ major role ~~in cutting down on food waste~~. At the same time, people can ~~avoid waste food by understanding~~ learn about expiration ~~the~~ dates ~~on food~~ to know exactly whether they can use it for meals or not.

In conclusion, several factors might lead to this issue. (That is not a strong conclusion.) Every consumer is recommended to take immediate actions to retrieve the best outcome. (You did not summarize your suggestions.)

Other argument points:

Unsold or unused meats and vegetables in markets and restaurants can be collected and distributed to homeless shelters or given away to the poor who often go hungry.

Restaurants can offer take-out containers for portions that are uneaten. They can also decrease the size of portions, so that customers' appetites are satisfied when their plates are empty.

Housekeepers can shop more often and buy smaller quantities, especially for perishable items like fruit. If they buy only for two days of meals, very little will be leftover.

They can also cook large quantities and freeze smaller portions in plastic containers to be used later. Another idea is for families to take turns preparing meals and sharing them with neighbors. That cuts down on time in the kitchen, too. If four families cooperate, each one has to cook every fourth day. If there are leftovers, they can be frozen or given to other neighbors.

People can put compostable leftovers in their gardens. A compost bin is easily constructed for this purpose. It makes good fertilizer for flower and vegetable gardens.

Please correct this IELTS essay for me and give me a score. Thanks a lot

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