Please correct this and answer these

Question

Hi. Please correct this hypothetical (made-up) review of a sort done as a grammar exercise.

She won a Best Actor prize/award for the movie "xxx.". In the movie "xxx," a girl named Jane Doe was played by him as a girl who 1) has been reared by her bad-tempered mother to excel in school but has ended up succumbing to pressure and eventually spending some years of her life struggling to recoup from the life of failure. After two years of having appeared in that movie, she appeared in John Doe's acclaimed "yyy." Also, she acted with 2) actors John Doe I and John Doe II.

As a side note, 3) I liked his "xxx" but didn't like "yyy." Among "xxx,"yyy" and "zzz," I liked the "xxx" the best. She was brilliant in that role, making the role life-like. Personal, enthusiastic thumbs-up for her works to date.

Q1: Could we use present perfect tenses to describe a plot as it seems to have been done above?

Q2: Can we follow the word "actors" by names as in "actors John Do I and John Doe II"?

Q3: Assuming the content words in quotes are movie titles, could we write like that without having to precede any of them with words like "the movie 'xxx'"?

Can we write like this?

"yyy" was excellent and enjoyed by them when they went to see it.

Sorry for not presenting the content of the questions and the questions that went with it in a lucid fashion.

Clive · Accepted Answer

Hi,

Please correct this hypothetical (made-up) review of a sort done as a grammar exercise.

She won a Best Actor prize/award for the movie "***.". In the movie "***," a girl named Jane Doe was played by him ~~her~~ as a girl who 1) has been reared by her bad-tempered mother to excel in school but has ended up succumbing to pressure and eventually spending some years of her life struggling to recoup from the life of failure. <<< too long and awkward. After two years of having appeared<<< incorrect in that movie, she appeared in John Doe's acclaimed "yyy." Also, she acted with 2) ~~actors~~ John Doe I and John Doe II.

As a side note, 3) I liked ~~his~~ her in "***" but not in "Yyy." Among "***,"yyy" and "zzz," I liked ~~the~~ "***" ~~the~~ best. She was brilliant in that role, making it ~~the role~~ life-like. Personal, enthusiastic thumbs-up for her works to date.

There are a number of errors in the above, and other changes I'd make. Here's what I'd write.

She won a Best Actress award for the movie "***.". In it, she played Jane Doe, a girl who had been reared by her bad-tempered mother to excel in school but has ended up succumbing to pressure. Eventually, Jane Doe spent years of her life struggling to recoup from failure. Two years after having appeared in that movie, she was in John Doe's acclaimed "Yyy", with John Doe I and John Doe II.

As a side note, I liked her in "***" but not in "Yyy." Of her movies "***, "Yyy" and "Zzz," I liked "***" best. She was brilliant and realistic in that role. Personal, enthusiastic thumbs-up for her work to date.

Q1: Could we use present perfect tenses to describe a plot as it seems to have been done above?

You can, although you have to be careful that all the tenses work well together. However, plots are commonly told all in Present tense,

eg In it, she plays Jane Doe, a girl who is reared by her bad-tempered mother to excel in school but ends up succumbing to pressure. Eventually, Jane Doe spends years of her life struggling to recoup from failure.

Q2: Can we follow the word "actors" by names as in "actors John Do I and John Doe II"?

Yes, but in the phrasing 'she acted with actors . . .', the word 'actors' sems redundant. Because the mean are in a movie, we assume that they are actors, not plumbers, not train drivers, etc.

Q3: Assuming the content words in quotes are movie titles, could we write like that without having to precede any of them with words like "the movie '***'"?

Only if they are well-known movies, or if the context makes it clear that it is a movie. Can we write like this?

"yyy" was excellent and enjoyed by them when they went to see it. How will the reader know that it was not, for example, a play?

Sorry for not presenting the content of the questions and the questions that went with it in a lucid fashion.

Best wishes, Clive

Anonymous · Answer

Hi. Thank you for a lengthy correction. You said you would write what I wrote like this:

There are a number of errors in the above, and other changes I'd make. Here's what I'd write. She won a Best Actress award for the movie "***.". In it, she played Jane Doe, a girl who had been reared by her bad-tempered mother to excel in school but has ended up succumbing to pressure. Eventually, Jane Doe spent years of her life struggling to recoup from failure. Two years after having appeared in that movie, she was in John Doe's acclaimed "Yyy", with John Doe I and John Doe II. As a side note, I liked her in "***" but not in "Yyy." Of her movies "***, "Yyy" and "Zzz," I liked "***" best. She was brilliant and realistic in that role. Personal, enthusiastic thumbs-up for her work to date.

Let me take out the part that I want to ask a question about from above.

In it, she played Jane Doe, a girl who had been reared by her bad-tempered mother to excel in school but has ended up succumbing to pressure. Eventually, Jane Doe spent years of her life struggling to recoup from failure.

Q1: What is the reason for the passive past perfect "had been reared"? What possibly could be the event that it is referencing time-wise? In other words, What event do you think precede it?

Q2: Why did you have to use the present perfect "has ended up"?

Thank you your anticipated help.

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