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Anonymous Posted 18 years ago
Grammar

please correct this

0Hi,02br
02br
00Pretending this is a report to the headquarter.02br
02br
00Dear Sir,02br
02br
00We had a successful month with the profit of $xxx,xxx.xx. And this number represent a 20-percent increase over the last month's figure. I feel this healthy figure is due to our hardwork under the slogan of "Serve Fast and Right." The central theme of the slogan is that we should serve our customers promptly but also accurately. We took this theme in consideration of the fact that our morning customers who account for over half of our sales use drive-in windows more than ordering in. We feel this is due to the fact they are mostly working for an employer and thus need to be punctual; but at the same time, they want to have a sound breakfast that will help them get through the morning in an optimum condition. In congnizant (recognition??) of that fact, the store management under my stewardship has been trying to institute a change under the slogan of "Serve Fast and Right." Since then, we had more satisfied customers and more repeat customers, leading to a high rise in our bottom line. We feel that in our industry, achieving a 20-percent increase over the prior is a phenomenal achievement.and we will certainly do our best maintain the successes (the stream of success??) we have been having for the last four months. 0-
  

Top answer

02br 00I have underlined some problem areas. ***01u 00. And02u 00 this number 01u 00represent02u 00 a 20-percent increase over 01del 00the02del 00 last month's figure.

  • 02br 00I have underlined some problem areas.
  • ***01u 00.
  • And02u 00 this number 01u 00represent02u 00 a 20-percent increase over 01del 00the02del 00 last month's figure.
  • " The 01del 00central02del 00 01u 00theme02u 00 of the slogan is that we should serve our customers promptly but also accurately.
  • We took this theme 01u 00in consideration of the fact that02u 00 our morning 01u 00customers who02u 00 account for over half of our 01u 00sales use02u 00 drive-in windows 01u 00more02u 00 than ordering01u 00 in02u 00.
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1 Answers
0
0 .02br
00I have underlined some problem areas. Do not use' the fact that' so much; it is awkward at best:02br
02br
00Dear 01b00Mr [Surname],02b02br
02br
00We had a successful month with 01u00the profit02u00 of $***,***.***01u00. And02u00 this number 01u00represent02

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