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Hi,My two Encounters with him:It was a hot summer of 1996. It was scorching hot (can two adjectives work here together?)  and unbeknownst to my parents' knowledge, I had taken the car that I purchased with the money from my three-month summer employment. My parents warned me not to take the car without their approval, but out of my foolish impulse, I had taken hold of the handle and decided to go for a ride. As usual, the traffic was slow and the roads were sparingly occupied with cars. I took the ride with much anticipation, tasting the freedom, knowing it could take me to anywhere I want. Two hours after the ride, my car stopped and my heart sank. Many different thoughts came to me: "what if they find out?" "What are they going to do to me?" "getting forfeited of a week's allowance?" "possibly." As many thoughts came on, I was more worried. Then, I saw a car coming to my direction. It sped by pretty quickly. Then suddenly, it made a detour and came back to where I was. He looked like he is in his early twenties and was very attractive. Without asking me, he opened the hood and examined the engine. After a few quick fixes, he got my car started and left it running. As strangely as he came, he drove away without saying anything. I was dumbfounded; yet I took ahold of myself and started to drive (drove??)  away. Just as I was about to drive away, I saw something on the front seat of my car. It was his cellular phone. After fifteen or so minutes, the phone rang and it was he (I think 'he' is correct since 'it' here has no real function), looking for his cellular phone. I told him it was me (I think 'me' is correct since 'it' here fucntions as a subject), and I would like to see him to return his phone and also, to thank him for his help. He assented and deciding to meet at a small restaurant near his house. There we met, and I got to know him better. It was my second encounter.

Goodman · Accepted Answer

I took the liberty to make some changes. Hope that helps...

It was a scorchingly hot day in the summer of 1996 and unbeknownst to my parents, I had taken the car that I purchased with the money [I had earned] from my three-month summer [job] employment. My parents [had] warned me not to take the car without their [permission] approval, but out of my foolish impulse, I had ignored my parents taken hold of the handle and decided to go for a ride. As usual, the traffic was slow and the roads were sparingly occupied with cars. (did you mean there is little traffic and there weren’t too many cars, or the traffic is slow because of congested roadways? From the context, I took it that it was the former, however, it was ambiguous) I took the ride with much anticipation, tasting the freedom, knowing it could take me to anywhere I want [wanted] . Two hours after into the ride, my car [suddenly] stopped and my heart sank. I began to worried as many different thoughts came to me: "what if they find out?" ,"What are they going to do to me?", "getting forfeited having weeks allowance? taken away possibly." As these many thoughts played came on my head, I became more worried. Then, I saw a car coming to my direction. ( your car had stopped, right? how did your speed away?) It sped by pretty quickly. Then suddenly, it made a detour and came back to where I was. He looked like he is in his early twenties and was very attractive. Without asking me, he opened the hood and examined the engine. After a few minutes quick fixes, he got my car started and left it running. As strangely as he came, he drove away without saying anything. I was dumbfounded but yet I took [gathered] a hold of myself and started to drive away. Just as I was about to do so drive away, I saw something on the front seat of my car. It was his cellular phone. After fifteen or so minutes, the phone rang and it was [him] he, looking for his cellular phone. I told him he left it in my car it was me and I would like to see him to return his phone and also would like to thank him for his help. He assented and deciding to meet at a small restaurant near his house where I had met him for the second time and got to know him better.

Anonymous · Answer

GoodmanI took the liberty to make some changes. Hope that helps...

It was a scorchingly hot day in the summer of 1996 and unbeknownst to my parents, I had taken the car that I purchased with the money [I had earned] from my three-month summer [job] employment. My parents [had] warned me not to take the car without their [permission] approval, but out of my foolish impulse, I had ignored my parents taken hold of the handle and decided to go for a ride.

Thank you, Goodman, I feel that it is OK to use the past tense and past perfect tense interchangeably if it is situationally acceptable and common sense dominates. For example,

It was a unusually hot day, I had gone shopping with my sister and en route to the market, I found out I left my wallet at home. -- I think this is where it is situationally clear; thus, the use of both past perfect and past in the same writing is perfectly acceptable. Am I wrong?

As usual, the traffic was slow and the roads were sparingly occupied with cars. (did you mean there is little traffic and there weren’t too many cars, or the traffic is slow because of congested roadways? From the context, I took it that it was the former, however, it was ambiguous)

I think my descriptive words 'sparingly occupied' clears the issue you raised.

I took the ride with much anticipation, tasting the freedom, knowing it could take me to anywhere I want [wanted] . Two hours after into the ride, my car [suddenly] stopped and my heart sank. I began to worried as many different thoughts came to me: "what if they find out?" ,"What are they going to do to me?", "getting forfeited having weeks allowance? taken away possibly." As these many thoughts played came on my head, I became more worried. Then, I saw a car coming to my direction. ( your car had stopped, right? how did your speed away?)

I meant the other car sped by, not my car.

It sped by pretty quickly. Then suddenly, it made a detour and came back to where I was. He looked like he is in his early twenties and was very attractive. Without asking me, he opened the hood and examined the engine. After a few minutes quick fixes, he got my car started and left it running. As strangely as he came, he drove away without saying anything. I was dumbfounded but yet I took [gathered] a hold of myself and started to drive away. Just as I was about to do so drive away, I saw something on the front seat of my car. It was his cellular phone. After fifteen or so minutes, the phone rang and it was [him] he

Do you think 'it' here assumes a structural role? If so, can you tell me what that is? It's not a word with no real function?

,looking for his cellular phone. I told him he left it in my car it was me and I would like to see him to return his phone and also would like to thank him for his help. He assented and deciding to meet at a small restaurant near his house where I had met him for the second time and got to know him better.

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