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RJD Posted 17 years ago
Grammar

Please correct these sentences

Upon inspection, the following items were found to be damaged. These damages were due to inappropriate packing. These items
had to be packed in a wooden box, but the supplier / forwarding agency sent in a carton box. These kind of very heavy and fragile items especially glasses should be packed in a wooden box with proper filling material. Since it is concealed damage (ie; there was no visible damages on the carton box) we won't get any damaged report from the depart concern, but we reported and negotiate with them to issuing the certificate, but to vain they don't agree. Consequently, we should ask our supplier / forwarding agency to do the proper packing in the future shipments so that we can fix this kind of problem once and for all.
  

Top answer

Try: "Upon inspection, several items were found to be damaged. These damages were caused by inappropriate packing. These items ought to be packed in a wooden box, but the supplier/forwarding agency had sent them in a carton box.

  • Try: "Upon inspection, several items were found to be damaged.
  • These damages were caused by inappropriate packing.
  • These items ought to be packed in a wooden box, but the supplier/forwarding agency had sent them in a carton box.
  • These very heavy and fragile items, especially glasses, should be packed in a wooden box with the proper filling material.
  • , there was no visible damages), we did not get any damage report from the department in concern, and although we reported and negotiated with them to issue the certificate, they didn't agree with us.
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2 Answers
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Try:

"Upon inspection, several items were found to be damaged. These damages were caused by inappropriate packing. These items ought to be packed in a wooden box, but the supplier/forwarding agency had sent them in a carton box. These very heavy and fragile items, especially glasses, should be packed in a wooden box with the proper filling material. Since it was a concealed damage (i.e.,

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