Please correct my writing task 1

Question

The bar chart demonstrate male and female lectors in 6 distinct sorts of instructive institution in the Uk in 2020.
Overall, the proportion of female teachers were more commin in teaching from toddlers to secondary school were employed. Moreover, both genders counterparts in the college level were equal.
The rate of femal educators in nursery and primary school was a little over 90%, which was almost 80% higher than the share of male instructors. After that, men and women more equally represented in teaching for junivels in colleges – were 50% for both genders.
In comparision with male coaches in Private training institute, which occupied 55% of educational institution, female tutors constituted a marginally less significant proportion of about 45%. 70% of instructive setting in the Uk was teaching by men professor, while the percentage of female lectures in university was 40% lower.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

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For IELTS Task 1: Please read my advice for Task 1 essays: ( ) and attach an image of what you are writing about. We cannot help you if we can't see the figure.

Thanhh Ducc · Answer

AlpheccaStars · Answer

You wrote 142 words. The minimum is 150. You must write more than 150. You need to study your vocabulary words better. You have many usage errors. There are also many grammatical errors.

The bar chart demonstrate (This is the wrong verb for bar chart. Also the verb form does not match the subject. ) male and female lectors (wrong word) . in 6 (Write out small numbers in words if they are not data values.) six distinct sorts of instructive institution (This is not a good phrase. Also, the form of the noun is wrong. It must be plural.) in the Uk ( That is an incorrect acronym.) in 2020. (The date is wrong here.)
Overall, the proportion of female teachers were more commin (wrong word. You meant to write "common" but spelled it wrong. It is still an incorrect word. ) in teaching from toddlers to secondary school were employed. (This is ungrammatical English) Moreover, both genders counterparts (wrong phrase This makes no sense.) in the college level were equal.
The rate (Wrong word. There are no rates in this figure. ) of femal educators in nursery and primary school was a little over 90%, which was almost 80% higher than the share (wrong word) of male instructors. (The sum of males+female percentages must add up to 100%, so that is not an insightful remark. ) After that, men and women ~~more~~ equally represented in teaching for junivels (wrong word) in colleges – were (what is the subject of this verb? A verb with no subject violates the rules of English grammar.) 50% for both genders.
In comparision with male coaches (wrong word. A coach is for athletic, not academic contexts.) in Private training institute, which occupied (wrong word) 55% of educational institution, (wrong phrase) female tutors (wrong word. ) constituted a marginally less significant proportion of about 45%. 70% (Never begin a sentence with a digit.) of instructive setting in the Uk was teaching by men professor, while the percentage of female lectures (wrong word) in university was 40% lower.

I also noticed that the essay instructions in this book have an error. It is very bad to have teaching materials with grammatical errors.

The chart show the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting (This must be plural. There are six of them, not one.) in the UK in 2010.

Please correct my writing task 1

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