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Up Posted 12 years ago
Grammar
Please correct my writing and give me comments.
My teacher has asked me to write a story (within 150 words)and it must begin with the following words:
Anna had a very special reason for getting up early the next day, so she set the alarm for 5 am.
Here is my story:
Anna had a very special reason for getting up early the next day, so she set the alarm for 5 am. She went to bed but couldn't sleep as she was too eager to see her best friend, Selena, who was thousands of miles away studying oversea.
They had some chat on Skype the previous day and Selena told Anna that she'd return to Canada in 2 days. Anna was very cheerful by that. She wanted to take Selena by surprise so she decided to pick up Selena at the airport, which was 200 km far from her house, without announcement.
Enthusiastically, Anna prepared a ticket and waked up very early going on a two-hour train to meet Selena at 7 am. However, when it was 8.30, Selena still didn't turn up. Anna phoned Selena with nerve and fear: "What's going on there, Sel? Is your flight cancelled?" It took Selena a second or two to understand the whole story. In an even more amazing voice, she said: "Oh, Did you really believe that, what I said was just a trick, it's just for the occasion of April Fools' Day.
Anna had a very special reason for getting up early the next day, so she set the alarm for 5 am.
Here is my story:
Anna had a very special reason for getting up early the next day, so she set the alarm for 5 am. She went to bed but couldn't sleep as she was too eager to see her best friend, Selena, who was thousands of miles away studying oversea.
They had some chat on Skype the previous day and Selena told Anna that she'd return to Canada in 2 days. Anna was very cheerful by that. She wanted to take Selena by surprise so she decided to pick up Selena at the airport, which was 200 km far from her house, without announcement.
Enthusiastically, Anna prepared a ticket and waked up very early going on a two-hour train to meet Selena at 7 am. However, when it was 8.30, Selena still didn't turn up. Anna phoned Selena with nerve and fear: "What's going on there, Sel? Is your flight cancelled?" It took Selena a second or two to understand the whole story. In an even more amazing voice, she said: "Oh, Did you really believe that, what I said was just a trick, it's just for the occasion of April Fools' Day.
Top answer
Here are some suggestions: Anna had a very special reason for getting up early the next day, so she set the alarm for 5 am. She went to bed but couldn't sleep as she was too eager to see her best friend, Selena, who was thousands of miles away studying oversea s . They had some chat ted on Skype the previous day and Selena (had) told Anna that she'd return to Canada in 2 days.
- Here are some suggestions: Anna had a very special reason for getting up early the next day, so she set the alarm for 5 am.
- She went to bed but couldn't sleep as she was too eager to see her best friend, Selena, who was thousands of miles away studying oversea s .
- They had some chat ted on Skype the previous day and Selena (had) told Anna that she'd return to Canada in 2 days.
- Anna was very cheered cheerful by that news .
- She wanted to surprise take Selena by surprise so she decided to pick her up Selena at the airport, which was 200 km far from her house, without announcement.
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1 Answers
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Here are some suggestions:
Anna had a very special reason for getting up early the next day, so she set the alarm for 5 am. She went to bed but couldn't sleep as she was too eager to see her best friend, Selena, who was thousands of miles away studying overseas.
They hadsome chatted on Skype the previous day and Selena (had) told Anna that she'd return
Anna had a very special reason for getting up early the next day, so she set the alarm for 5 am. She went to bed but couldn't sleep as she was too eager to see her best friend, Selena, who was thousands of miles away studying overseas.
They had
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